Day 144 Approved and waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption
I always wondered what it would feel like to experience a failed adoption, and unfortunately now I know. The emotions are the same as when our son, Gavin, died. They are less intense, but the same nevertheless.
So here's the long and short of it. S had the baby on Tuesday. We flew out to North Carolina and got to spend time with the baby and everything. On Wednesday S signed the papers relinquishing her parental rights, but in the state of North Carolina a birth mother has seven days to revoke her relinquishment. Everything was going so well until her family, especially her parents, showed up and started telling her everything she wanted to hear. They convinced S that they would find a way to take care of all of them financially, even though there isn't a single person in her family who has the ability to do so. So just before we left the hospital, S decided she wanted Jaida back. Nevermind the fact that because S will not be able to receive financial support from LDS Family Services, she and the three children will be evicted shortly. Soon S and the three kids are going to be homeless and she has no money for food, clothing, diapers, or even a car seat.
One of the biggest struggles we're having right now is trying not to be angry and resentful. It's hard though. We finally got to be mommy and daddy but only for about 2 hours. But, I guess the long and short of it is that we came back to Utah yesterday with empty arms, an empty bank account, and broken hearts. We're really in need of prayers right now. This is just so emotionally and financially devastating. I'll update more later but right now I really just don't have the strength to do it.
About Me
- Malone and Brittany
- About us? Where can I begin? Our little family has been through more ups and downs than can be described here. It has been a roller coaster since day one. Join us as we continue on our crazy ride.
11 comments:
I'm so sorry. My heart breaks for you.
It's not easy and it sucks. We've been there and my heart aches for you.
You guys are in my thoughts and prayers.
Did you pay your placement fee to LDSFS? Because you should get it back since the adoption didn't go through. That doesn't really help the heartache, though. Our 2nd failed adoption was quite similar. We drove to the town where the hospital was, got to spend almost 24 hours thinking that she was going to be our baby, the birth mother's sister showed up and said similar things as your birthmother's family, she changed her mind and decided to keep her although she had no way to provide for her at all -- she was living with someone in her ward at the time and pretty much had no family but that sister. So we also went home with empty arms and broken hearts and a lot of anger and resentment. What you are feeling and going through is normal -- just part of the grief/loss process. Don't beat yourself up about it too much. Let it run its course and talk a lot to people who are sympathetic and loving. I'm always here, ok?
Oh my Brittany, I am sooo sorry hun. This must be truly devastating. You have gone through more in your life in just a few years than anyone should ever have to in a lifetime. You are in our prayers and in our hearts. We love you, Malone and Gavin so very much.
As tears roll down my face, I sit here with an achy heart for you. I wish I could do something to make things better. I will continue to pray for the both of you. Stay strong and continue to be faithful. Even though I tell you to stay strong, it's ok to break down once in awhile. The Lord loves you and I know that HE will soon send your angel to you. Lots of love! Faith Precedes the Miracle!!!
I know it doesn't really help to tell you how sorry I am but I really am so sorry and I feel so sad for you guys. A few weeks ago the same thing happened to my sister and her husband. It was heartbreaking and I so hoped you wouldn't have to feel that and that everything would work out. Even though it is so hard, move forward with faith. The Lord is mindful of you and I know you are going to recieve the blessings you desire plus many many more.
Brittany we were so devastated to hear the news. My heart just aches for you. You guys have been through so much! I can't imagine how this must feel. It just isn't fair and it sucks! I wish I could just help in some way! We are keeping you in our prayers! We have cried for you and we are thinking of you and hope you will feel better soon. Remember God does have a plan for you guys. He will make up for what has happened.
My mother-in-law once said God works in his own time, but he never forgets. I think that's true. Don't give up! This will strengthen your relationship with your husband and make you guys so happy for the next successful adoption. Nonetheless, that doesn't make you feel better now. I'm so sorry.
Oh so sorry.. I know you are probably tired of hearing that too and just want to be left alone.. I will pray for you that maybe S has a change of heart and the adoption will go through for you, you never know what can happen.. Many blessing floating your way...
I am so sorry. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling right now. I will be praying for you guys.
I'm so sorry about your disappointment.
I don't want to minimalize your pain, but having been someone who was urged to place my baby for adoption, I can't help but see it this way:
Maybe this situation happened because it was best for S, and the baby. We know that the VERY BEST place for any child to grow up is an a family with two parents, sealed in the temple, committed to living a gospel-oriented life. But that's not the only good place. "Love makes a family." Financial and marital status are not the only factors that determine how good or bad a parent is, or how good or bad a life any given baby will have. Maybe this could be a great service opportunity for you, to help S get the welfare, WIC, childcare help, and whatever other programs out there that might help her. This was HER choice to make, based on what she thought was best for HER baby.
Your child is out there, and Heavenly Father has a plan for your family! Your family is in my prayers, and I sincerely hope that you'll be holding the child that's meant to be yours soon; you've certainly gone through enough to deserve it!
Love,
Colleen
I know you dont know me, but I wanted to offer my condolences. I found your blog through a friends, and I just wanted to comment and let you know that my family and I will be praying for you and yours.
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