Absence

Sorry all for the absence! But at least I have a good excuse! These are the things we've been up to over the past few weeks.

Family

I have been debating about posting this. I don't really know why. But in the end, I count this blog as my journal so I felt I just had to put this out there.

June is a difficult month for our family. Exactly three years ago our son was born at 24 weeks gestation. He weighed 1 lb 8 oz. He passed away seven days after he was born. The doctors were amazed he made it that long. But I wasn't. Although I wanted to believe otherwise, I think I knew deep down that he wasn't going to be able to stay for long. I know that every minute of his life was a great struggle. I believe my son gave me those 7 days as a gift.

It's a difficult thing to find the delicate balance between grieving over his loss and celebrating his birth. Both Malone and I have been able to pick up the pieces and move on, but sometimes the grief will still pop up and take me by surprise. Especially today, his birthday. I find myself wondering about what he would have looked like and how different my life would be with a three year old little boy. I wonder about what Malone and I can do to help Baby K "know" her big brother.

Today was a little extra special and a little extra sad because we got to go visit his grave. We hung flowers and had a family prayer. I cried more than I have in a long time. But it was strengthening to be able to stand there with my little family and thank Heavenly Father for each other and for the chance we have to be together forever because of the fact that Malone and I were married in the holy temple in Nauvoo Illinois. If you would like to learn more about our belief in temples and in forever families, click HERE.

Baby K's "Honey Bear"

Three years ago when our son was born at 24 weeks we unintentionally started a little family tradition. You see, our baby boy was extremely premature so he spent his short life in the NICU hooked up to monitors and lines. The hospital wasn't exactly the most cheerful place, to say the least. So one day Malone and I decided to go to Build A Bear and create a little bear just for our little Gavin. Shortly after that he passed away. Now his little "Buddy Bear" holds a special place in our home.

After I became pregnant with Baby K we kind of held our breath for the first 24 weeks just waiting to see if I would be able to make it that far. When we hit that milestone we remembered that trip we took to Build A Bear for Gavin. We decided that we would take a trip to Build A Bear to celebrate our accomplishment and to purchase a bear for Baby K that would help her relate to her brother. We lovingly dubbed that bear "Honey Bear."

As Baby K grows, we are taking pictures of her with her Honey Bear so she can have a physical representation of her progression through childhood. These are her Honey Bear pictures so far.

Immunizations

Today Baby K got her two month immunizations. She really hated them. Poor kid!

Giveaway!!!

My sister Rachel and her husband Johnny are launching a new business by doing a giveaway for Father's Day! So check out her website HERE and enter for the chance to win one of their cute decorations!

Adoption Situation

I received a tip about an available adoption situation today that I thought I would pass along to my blog readers. I wish we could adopt this little girl ourselves. I've been thinking about it all morning wondering if we might be able to afford it, but I'm afraid that the combination of two failed adoptions and the pregnancy and birth of our daughter have completely wiped us out financially. But hopefully I can help find this precious daughter of God the right family.

I've copied the important bits of the email below.

"A friend is trying to help place the baby of a Kansas teen mother with an adoptive family in Colorado. The baby is un-born, a little girl, and has Down's Syndrome. If you know of anyone who is pro-life and interested in providing this baby with a home and family, please let me or Maureen Cleary know. Thanks! Contact Information: Kelsha 303.478.3964 wellkeptsecret@hotmail.com"

I know it says they're looking for an adoptive family in Colorado, but I would still encourage all of you who might be interested to at least send an email anyway. You never know, perhaps the birth mother might consider placing in Utah.

Hooray for summer!

Baby K is growing bigger and stronger every day. She has outgrown a few of her newborn clothes and according to our bathroom scale she now weighs about 11 & 1/2 lbs. She now holds up her head on her own without wobbling and she smiles back when either Malone or I smile at her. In the past few days she has even started giggling! It's so fun to watch her grow and it's so rewarding to have her interact with us. It does make me sad to pack away some of these tiny clothes though. Sometimes I just wish I could slow down time with this kiddo!

In other news, we had our first hot dog roast of the season for FHE this week with a handful of my siblings and their families. It was a bit chilly (which is why Baby K is all bundled up like the kid off of "A Christmas Story" in the picture above) but we had so much fun! It really made me excited for summertime and now I'm just itching to go camping.

This summer we have a lot of really fun plans. Mostly those plans include being more active: hiking, swimming, camping, gardening, and so on. But we're ESPECIALLY excited for our summer vacation this year. It's going to be a couple of cram packed weeks, but it's going to be so fun. This vacation is going to hold a lot of firsts for me. I'm going to the Gulf of Mexico for the first time, I'll be going to Disney World for the first time, and best of all I'm actually going to get to meet my husband's Nana for the first time! Toss in a bunch of time with our family and close friends, and I really don't think you can beat it.

If your family is hoping to adopt

I have begun a new section on my sidebar for those of you who are couples hoping to adopt. If you would like me to add you to the list, please feel free to leave a comment here or email me at maloneandbrittanyadopt@gmail.com. Hopefully we can be of some help in your journey to your child!