I have been debating about posting this. I don't really know why. But in the end, I count this blog as my journal so I felt I just had to put this out there.
June is a difficult month for our family. Exactly three years ago our son was born at 24 weeks gestation. He weighed 1 lb 8 oz. He passed away seven days after he was born. The doctors were amazed he made it that long. But I wasn't. Although I wanted to believe otherwise, I think I knew deep down that he wasn't going to be able to stay for long. I know that every minute of his life was a great struggle. I believe my son gave me those 7 days as a gift.
It's a difficult thing to find the delicate balance between grieving over his loss and celebrating his birth. Both Malone and I have been able to pick up the pieces and move on, but sometimes the grief will still pop up and take me by surprise. Especially today, his birthday. I find myself wondering about what he would have looked like and how different my life would be with a three year old little boy. I wonder about what Malone and I can do to help Baby K "know" her big brother.
Today was a little extra special and a little extra sad because we got to go visit his grave. We hung flowers and had a family prayer. I cried more than I have in a long time. But it was strengthening to be able to stand there with my little family and thank Heavenly Father for each other and for the chance we have to be together forever because of the fact that Malone and I were married in the holy temple in Nauvoo Illinois. If you would like to learn more about our belief in temples and in forever families, click HERE.
About Me
- Malone and Brittany
- About us? Where can I begin? Our little family has been through more ups and downs than can be described here. It has been a roller coaster since day one. Join us as we continue on our crazy ride.
3 comments:
THat was amazing! You are such an inspiration and example to all of us. Your little boy is a choice spirit and meant for great things. What a privilege for you to be his parents. By the way, post more pics of that little girl. I bet she is growing! Miss seeing you here.
*HUGS* We will always remember Gavin, especially in June.
With such a distance between us, I had no idea that you had suffered such a great loss. I am so sorry. You have always been such a strong person, and I am in awe at your strength now. As you probably know, I lost my father the same year. Although losing a parent is in no way comparable to losing a child, I too struggle with teaching my children who he was. We talk about him frequently and show them pictures when the opportunities arise but it is not the same. I hope that one day they can have a clearer picture of who he was, and if not they will meet in heaven. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
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