Update

Day 222 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

Today was a great day! We went and spent the evening with our birthmom J! We had dinner and then went up the canyon to take some fun pictures. J got a new puppy named Molly and she is so adorable! Also, she gave me permission to share a picture of her cute little belly! So here J is at 19 weeks. Only one more week and then we'll be halfway through this pregnancy and we'll get to find out the baby's gender! We're so excited!!! Anyway, for your viewing pleasure...

A Modern Day Miracle

Day 212 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

Miracles do happen. Our birth father signed all of his legal paperwork today. He did it in the presence of our birth mother, her caseworker, and a notary. In the state where we live, he has no opportunity to change his mind now that the papers are signed.

I would be lying if I told you that I'm not relieved. It feels like a small burden has been lifted from our shoulders. But, at the same time, we feel a sadness knowing how difficult it must be for him today. We will continue to pray for him every day just as we have for the past year since we started this adoption process. We are so thankful for him regardless of some of the poor decisions he has made. We respect the great leap of faith he has taken in trusting us to follow through on our word. We hope he knows that we really meant what we said when we promised him some openness in this adoption.

Today we are eternally thankful to a man named T, and that he made such a courageous decision.

Adoption is a roller coaster

Day 211 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

So... in case you didn't know this already...

The entire process of adopting is a roller coaster. It's full of ups, and unfortunately, it's also full of downs. Today we seem to be experiencing another down.

We received a call from our birthmom, J, this morning. Our birthfather, T, called J this morning to tell her that he has decided not to sign the adoption papers. He has done a lot of flip-flopping in the past, so we are not giving up on things yet. The caseworkers are trying to get a hold of him to try and talk things through.

We are hopeful, but prepared for the worst. We are experienced enough in adoption to understand that sometimes things just don't work out the way we want. But today we are praying for a miracle. We hope you will all pray with us.

Are you a waiting family? Then you NEED this information

Day 207 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

Are you a family that is waiting to adopt a child? How long have you been waiting? I bet it feels like forever. So I'm going to say the "scary words" that a lot of adoptive couples avoid-

Special Needs Adoption

My question for all of you is, "why?" Why are you reluctant to adopt a child with special needs? Every day, I am thankful that I get to work with adults with disabilities. They are some of my closest friends, and very dear to my heart. And YES, some of these adults have SEVERE disabilities. But that doesn't matter. I love them love them love them!

Now, I know what some of you are thinking. You're thinking- "Well, she doesn't have room to talk. She hasn't adopted a special needs child, and she's matched with a birthmom who is expecting a healthy infant." So, please know that Malone and I were considered VERY seriously for at least four different special needs situations. We tried our dangdest (yep, I really just used that word) to bring one of those babies into our family, and we were extremely disappointed when each situation fell through. Heavenly Father just had another plan for us. For now.

Now, on to the meat of this conversation... Today I saw pictures of four absolutely precious brand new babies. These babies are waiting for their forever families. So this is my challenge. For just a moment, lay aside all of your "requirements" for the baby you want to adopt. Open your mind completely. Now, go take a look at these adorable children. I dare you not to fall in love. Click HERE to check out Christopher, Johnny, Ryan, and Sarah with Spence-Chapin adoption services. If you are worried about finances, just toss that thought away. This adoption agency is VERY affordable. I will warn you that they are difficult to get a hold of though.

Now, I have shown you four amazing opportunities. But keep your mind open for a moment longer, and let me introduce you to one of the greatest resources out there for waiting families.

Not long ago, we attended the National Families Supporting Adoption Conference in Layton, Utah. It was FANTASTIC. Every class was extremely informative, but there was one class that really stuck. It was taught by a woman who has adopted a number of special needs children internationally. And she has done so incurring very little expense. She has recently begun a sort of matching service where she connects waiting families with waiting infants who have special needs. These disabilities range from mild to severe. The best part? Her services are FREE. Let me just say that again... FREE! Did you catch on to that? Let me emphasize that one more time... FREE. What in the adoption world is FREE? NOTHING. You're crazy if you don't take advantage of this opportunity.

Anyway, in the class she said that in just a short time she had already placed lots of babies with families, and had to send away TEN little babies because she couldn't find enough families. We were shocked. When we got home from the conference, we signed up for her service right away. Ironically, just shortly after we finished all of the paperwork for her, we were selected by our birthmom, J, through LDS Family Services. BUT, right after our paperwork was completed, we received tips about FIVE different babies that were immediately available for adoption. Some of these babies had very severe disabilities. Some had only minor problems. Had J not matched with us right before that, we definitely would have said yes to at least one of those babies. I am not exaggerating when I say that after signing up with this service, you could potentially be parents within the next month. That's how badly they need families.

So, do I have you chomping at the bit? I hope so. Click HERE to visit her website and read more about her services. After all, just reading about it doesn't obligate you. So give it a go.

Now, I know this is getting long, but let me give you one more incentive. Go and sign up with this service. Then, if you receive information about a child with a disability that you are unfamiliar with or have questions about, I want you to CONTACT ME. Although I am not a total expert on disabilities, I am very familiar with many of these disabilities. If it is a disability that I work with, I will tell you EXACTLY what it is like to work with a person on a day-to-day basis with that disability. I will also be able to provide informational resources about that specific disability.

Now, why would I do this? The answer is simple. I'm willing to do this because I think most of you are either completely uninformed about specific disabilities OR you have been given misinformation. And it makes me sad that you are rejecting opportunities based on that. I have been asked before which disability I find easiest to work with. My answer? Downs Syndrome. Does that surprise you? I know it surprised the person I was talking to. This is just one example of a disability that is WIDELY misunderstood. I could go on forever with more examples, but I'll stop. (FOR NOW) However, I will leave this open invitation- if you have questions ASK ME. I'm not afraid to answer questions openly and honestly. If there is a disability that is VERY difficult, I will tell you. If there is a disability that is VERY expensive, I will tell you. Email me at maloneandbrittanyadopt@gmail.com. My only request is that you pray, and ask God to help you open your mind and heart to the possibility of adopting one of his special children. After all, they need love too.

Care to venture a guess?

Day 104 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

YAY! We just got an email from our birthmom, J. She had another appointment today with her doctor, and everything is looking great. She scheduled her next appointment for October 6th. That day we will be attending the appointment with her because she will be having another ultrasound. Hopefully this baby will cooperate with us so we can tell if we're having a boy or a girl! So... for those of you who care to venture a guess...

Enter into the poll I've created!

One Fine Day

Day 194 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

Today we got to go see J again. She is just amazing! She's 15 weeks along and starting to show just a little bit. She has a tiny baby bump that is oh so cute! Next time I see her, I'll see if she will let me snap a picture. I can just tell from her cute belly that that baby is going to be precious! Well ok, maybe I am overdoing it a little bit. ;)

We had the best time hanging out. It was super casual. We took her out to eat at Chili's and the food was pretty good. We all laughed when we found out our server was a guy that J went out on a date with once! Apparently he was a horrible date though because there was no second date.

Then we got to meet her parents, O and D. They are SO cute. They had a lot of questions for us, and we talked a little bit about how we feel about openness. We had a really smooth conversation, and we just loved them. You can tell they are just good, decent people. Having adopted four children themselves, they really understand what it's like to be going through this adoption process. They are so supportive of J's adoption plan, it's such a fresh change from our failed adoption with S in July. I have to admit that we were nervous to meet them though! It was sort of reminiscent of that awkward stage of dating when you meet a boyfriend's/girlfriend's parents for the first time. But it went really well, so no nightmare stories there.

After that we got some treats and headed out for a movie. We saw Julia and Julie which was pretty good. We laughed and joked the whole time so we probably had more fun with that than actually watching the movie. After the movie, we took her home and gave her hugs good night.

So, at this point our only concern is with the birthfather, T. But he has reassured J that he won't cause a problem. In fact, I understand that the LDSFS caseworker recently helped him read through his relinquishment papers. He may consider signing them before the baby is born, which would be optimal.

Anyhow, there is one thing that still amazes me as we continue building this relationship with J. It feels like she has always just been a part of our life. Our relationship with her is so natural, and we feel so at peace with this adoption plan. I wish all adoptive parents could have an experience like this! I think there are so many unknowns about openness that adoptive parents really get scared of the possibility of an open adoption. But so far, ours is awesome, and we want it to remain this way.

Goings on

Day 192 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

Well, we are officially moved into the new house. We are still cleaning the old place (thank heavens for Garth and Laura who are helping us!) but are almost finished. We have unpacked most of our things in the new place, and basically just have decorating to do now. Other than that, our personal life has been fairly quiet.

I have a request for all of you though. We have some dear friends of ours who just found out today that the birthmother they had matched with had the bay on Tuesday but decided to keep the baby. Understandably, they are struggling. Including us, this has happened to at least 4 families that I personally know in the past month. All of these hopeful adoptive couples are desperately in need of prayers. We understand that the decision to place can only be made by the birth mother and that the decision to place a baby is perhaps the most difficult decision a birth family can ever make. We are in awe of and honor those birth families. But when something like this occurs, it is excruciatingly painful for the adoptive couple. Such loss can only be understood by someone who has experienced it. The one thing we can do is pray. We sincerely hope that all the couples who are desperately hoping and waiting for their baby through the miracle of adoption will be led to their child soon. And we will continue to pray for all of you who are struggling through this waiting process.

Movin' movin' movin'

Day 183 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

We are moving on SATURDAY! We found a great house to rent. It's so cute. It's a 2 bedroom, 1 and 1/2 bathroom home with a small yard. The landlords don't rent out the basement, so we have it all to ourselves! Finally for the first time in our four years of marriage, we no longer share a wall/ceiling/floor with other families! We are so excited, but stressed. We really weren't planning on moving, but the rent in our other place just wasn't justifiable with a baby on the way. We figured we would rather save some money and we really lucked out to find this place for less per month than what we're paying now. The house is older, but has all new flooring and paint. It's in a great neighborhood. It has a small creek running by which is adorable. The creek is fenced off so kids can't get in it but the landlords said that in the spring there are always baby ducks to throw bread to. The landlords are also really really nice. This place practically just fell into our laps, and we are so thankful because we know Heavenly Father blessed us to find it.