The Secret's Out!

Day 171 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

So here's our big secret.

Mind you, nothing is for sure yet, but everything is looking very positive.

We were contacted yesterday by a birthmother who is already registered through LDS Family Services. She found our profile on the Its About Love website and she said she just fell in love with us. I'm shocked! She lives about three hours away from us, and is due February 19th. The birthfather and their families are supportive of the adoption plan. They are all LDS. She wants us to go to her doctor's appointment on Monday!

I am currently in a state of shock! More info to come later...

Secrets

Day 170 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

I have a secret...

But I'm not going to tell you yet...

MUAHAHAHAHA (evil laugh)

The Prize

Day 155 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

All right, I think I've kept you all waiting in suspense long enough... for now.

The prize is going to start off with a $25.00 gift card to the vendor of your choice. Now I know what you're thinking... "what does she mean by: start off with?" By that, we mean that periodically, we are going to be adding something new and great into the pot to compile one GREAT grand prize. By the time October 1st rolls around, the prize is going to be pretty amazing. You'll just have to keep checking back to see what's next!

Now remember, if you haven't sent me your address yet so I can send you pass-along cards, you need to do so ASAP to maloneandbrittanyadopt@gmail.com. But anyone can jump in the contest all the way until the very last day! (For those of you who have already sent me your addresses, look for them in the mail very soon if you haven't gotten them already!) Just let me know every so often how many cards you have given away, and I will keep a running tally here on our blog so you can check out your competitors. Once you've given away all that we sent you, just email us and we'll send you more. We aren't afraid that any cards will be "wasted." We are perfectly happy to send as many as you'll give away!

There are also bonus ways to get "points" towards your total. If you add our adoption button (see the right side of our page) or if you blog about our story and our giveaway we will give you extra points. I am working on compiling "the rules" for you guys so this will be less confusing, but seeing as how this little game is still in the early stages, I'm still working things through in my head. :)

In other news, Malone and I will be attending the National FSA Conference on July 31st and August 1st. We're so excited to meet so many of you there! We've heard it's always amazing, so we're really looking forward to it. How many of you out there will be there?

I can't believe we just did that

Day 152 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

We did what I thought we would never be able to do yesterday.

Yesterday we were presented with another birth mother who was interested in matching with us. We SO BADLY wanted to scream: YES YES YES YES YES!!!

We prayed...

It was NOT right for us. We received a CLEAR answer to our prayers. That baby girl is not meant for our family, but is meant for someone else.

So we said no.

We are waiting for God to lead us to OUR baby, not just any baby. We need to connect with the RIGHT birth mother, not just any birth mother.

But saying no broke my heart nonetheless. I don't know how much more my heart can take before it physically breaks into pieces.

Who will win?

Day 150 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

All right! Since Malone and I have decided not to use the matching agency again (at least not for now) we are going to have to be our own best advocates. That includes a big push to get our pass-along cards out there! So.... here's our new idea.... let me know what you think!

We are going to be having a CONTEST! We will send you as many of our pass-along cards as you want. Whoever can give away the MOST cards by October 1st is going to win our prize! And don't worry if you're just one of my blog stalkers and I don't know you in person... I still want you to participate too! So come out of those lurker closets, and send your address in an email to maloneandbrittanyadopt@gmail.com. Plus, when you blog about our contest, I will count that as an additional 2 pass-along cards to your final tally. Same goes for if you add our adoption button to your blog.

So... the big question is: what is our prize? Well...

You're just going to have to hold your breath and check back later for that one. I'm going to keep you all in suspense! Muahahaha! (evil laugh) But lets just say... you are DEFINITELY going to want to win this one!

Onward and Upward

Day 149 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

So I can't believe it's been a whole week since the day we got on a plane thinking we were finally going to be parents. Heavenly Father is working overtime to heal our hearts. There are occasional moments when I feel overcome with anger, despair, hopelessness, etc... But for the most part, I am successfully moving on. After much thought and prayer, we have decided to continue to pursue adoption. Although we have lost a lot of confidence, we still have faith that God can help us build our family through the miracle of adoption. However, we are going to be very cautious about matching with a birthmother who is from a state like North Carolina again. To have a "period of revocation" or a period where the birth mother can change her mind is not a law that we are very happy with. It's not only hard on the adoptive family, but it must also be hard on the birth mother. I can only imagine what it would be like to be a birth family who has to endure that time period. It's hard enough to ask them to make that decision once, but to ask them to make that decision every day for 7 days (or more!) must be torture.

The matching agency we hired has offered to give us a full refund of our money. Although we really enjoyed working with them, we have been praying and have come to the conclusion that at least for now, we need to wait things out with LDS Family Services. So, we are asking our family and friends to make a renewed effort on our behalf to help us find the missing part of our family. We are taking a leap of faith, and are waiting for Heavenly Father to show us how this experience will be for our good. I have a very strong feeling that I need to send out our pass-along cards, so if you haven't sent me your address yet, please do so at maloneandbrittanyadopt@gmail.com.

We also wanted to say thank you to all of you. We have been so touched to see how all our friends, family, co-workers and even complete strangers have come together to support us. We have received the occasional insensitive comment, but for the most part we have been extended a lot of love.

Failed adoption

Day 144 Approved and waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

I always wondered what it would feel like to experience a failed adoption, and unfortunately now I know. The emotions are the same as when our son, Gavin, died. They are less intense, but the same nevertheless.

So here's the long and short of it. S had the baby on Tuesday. We flew out to North Carolina and got to spend time with the baby and everything. On Wednesday S signed the papers relinquishing her parental rights, but in the state of North Carolina a birth mother has seven days to revoke her relinquishment. Everything was going so well until her family, especially her parents, showed up and started telling her everything she wanted to hear. They convinced S that they would find a way to take care of all of them financially, even though there isn't a single person in her family who has the ability to do so. So just before we left the hospital, S decided she wanted Jaida back. Nevermind the fact that because S will not be able to receive financial support from LDS Family Services, she and the three children will be evicted shortly. Soon S and the three kids are going to be homeless and she has no money for food, clothing, diapers, or even a car seat.

One of the biggest struggles we're having right now is trying not to be angry and resentful. It's hard though. We finally got to be mommy and daddy but only for about 2 hours. But, I guess the long and short of it is that we came back to Utah yesterday with empty arms, an empty bank account, and broken hearts. We're really in need of prayers right now. This is just so emotionally and financially devastating. I'll update more later but right now I really just don't have the strength to do it.

Update

Day 140 Approved and waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

We had our second telephone conversation with S today. It went really well! We had a really fun conversation with her and got to just have a somewhat casual chit-chat. We learned a lot about her and her two children, and we're going to be sending them some fun gifts tomorrow through the mail.

We found out that she has actually been to the hospital twice now thinking she was in labor. She's dilated to 3 centimeters and having irregular contractions. Sometimes they come every thirty minutes, sometimes they come every hour... So we're excited for when they start coming more regularly! S said that baby girl is really active, especially at night. So I guess that means we'll have some really fun sleepless nights ahead of us! :) S also said that her previous three babies have all been just under 7 pounds. The other thing we're really excited about is that S has a doctor's appointment on Wednesday, so after hearing what the doctor has to say, we're hoping to make more firm travel arrangements. So far, the idea is that I should go out there a few days early to be able to meet S and do what I can to help. Then Malone will follow.

S also said her mom is still really disapproving of her adoption plan. We are worried that her mom is going to try to talk S out of placing. So our request of all of you is that you pray for her mother's heart to be softened. We feel really confident in S but we don't want her relationship with her family to be damaged. So please please please remember us in your prayers.

So for updates, that's pretty much it. We're most likely going to hear from S again tomorrow and are really looking forward to building a good relationship with her. As always, we'll let you all know when we find out more!