Bet you never saw this coming...

Day 246 Waiting for our miracle babies

So, many of you have been asking what the surgery was for. I have to admit, I purposely didn't answer because we were waiting to see the outcome. But after months of keeping this secret, we can finally share with the whole world that I am...

PREGNANT

Yes, you read that right! I am expecting! My due date is April 9, 2010. Today my surgery was a cervical cerclage. It was necessary because of my prior history with Incompetent Cervix. Everything went well. Although we aren't out of the woods yet as far as risks are concerned, we passed a major hurdle today. So long as the bleeding slows down and I don't get an infection, things will most likely be ok. In fact, one doctor told us that so long as complications don't happen, the chances of the cerclage failing are only about 1%.

This pregnancy is such a miracle, it was completely unplanned and unexpected. When I was pregnant with Gavin, doctor's told us it was a "statistical fluke." AKA according to them, it never should have happened. Then after Gavin was born we were specifically told we would never be able to conceive again without major medical intervention. I guess this just goes to show that doctors should take into consideration God's influence.

So here's the somewhat condensed story. Don't worry, I won't get too graphic! Remember back in July when we were called to go to North Carolina to adopt a baby girl? Well, that call came at 4:30 in the morning and we packed in a frenzied hurry. In the frenzy we managed to forget to pack the... birth control. So all told I managed to miss about a week of my pills. (A little side note here... I don't actually take the pills as a contraceptive. In fact, my body has always served quite well as its very own contraceptive. The pills are actually used to manage my PCOS, or poly cystic ovarian syndrome. Without them I have incredibly screwed up cycles.) Anyway, unbeknownst to us, a whole week of missed birth control can really screw up your whole month's cycle and you can ovulate. Apparently that's what happened to us. I actually ovulated for the first time in probably 2 1/2 years. And it was just our luck that this one time, we managed to conceive. I guess even though the adoption of Jaida failed, there really was a reason we needed to go to North Carolina!

It was only a short time after our birthmom, J, selected us that we found out about my pregnancy. Of course we were floored. I can't even tell you how much we both cried. We have been so terrified that we will lose this baby the way we lost Gavin. But we called our caseworker with LDS Family Services right away. Charity told us that because J had already selected us, we could move forward with the adoption plan. Of course that's what we wanted, but we knew it was J's decision. We were strongly prompted to talk to her about it as soon as possible so that she could make her decision before becoming too emotionally tied to us. We were just so afraid to hurt her. Telling her about my pregnancy was very hard. We explained to her what our desires were, and then told her we loved her and would understand if she needed to choose another couple. We even told her that we knew of some really great people if she wanted some suggestions. She asked for some time to think about it, and we agreed to give her all the time she needed.

Later that day J asked us to drive down to see her. We were so nervous. But when we picked her up we felt an overwhelming sense of peace. She directed us to a park and we sat down on a bench. She told us that after she was able to get past the shock of our announcement, she was able to think about it clearly. She told us the most important thing about adoption is that the baby goes to the right parents. Then J told us that she felt from the very beginning that we were the right ones and that my pregnancy didn't change that. I think that was one of those moments that just drew us so much closer to her. She is a truly amazing woman. It was interesting though, she did say that if we had waited to tell her, she probably would not have made the same decision. We are so grateful we followed that prompting we had.

So, the long and short of it is that we are expecting two babies!!! The doctor plans to remove the cerclage at 36 weeks and expects that at that point I will have the baby. That puts us around mid March. So that means these two babies could be born as little as 3 weeks apart! So basically that means.... TWINS. We couldn't be more thrilled and are so thankful that God has provided this opportunity to us.

We will find out this baby's gender in about 4 weeks. Oh, and I felt the baby move for the first time last night.

Stressed...

Day 242 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

It's been a stressful week. Things at work have been crazy, yesterday our birth mom J had contractions that sent her to the hospital (don't worry, she was sent home), and tomorrow I have an important doctor's appointment. The doctor's appointment is prepping me for surgery that I will be having Monday.

I have never had surgery before and I'm totally freaking out. The surgery isn't too complicated, but it's crucial that it go well. It's one of those scary things that I wish was already over with. But have you ever noticed that in these kinds of situations time seems to slow down? Anyhow, Malone and I would appreciate prayers from all of you. And, if you feel so inclined, you are welcome to join us in fasting on Sunday for a positive outcome.

A Great Weekend

Day 239 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

This past weekend was so fun! Our birth mom, J, and our birth father, T, came up to visit us. On Saturday they drove up together and we took them out to eat at our favorite pizza place here in town. After dinner, T went home. We're still working on building a relationship with him, but so far, we have gotten to be on pretty friendly terms. Hopefully things will go well and we can open up this adoption a bit more with him. Anyway, after dinner, we took J to our house and gave her the "grand tour." We sat and talked for a while and she showed me pictures of her two other children she has placed for adoption. They are SO CUTE!

Then we took her out to one of the local corn mazes/haunted hollows. We go every year, and thought it would be a fun tradition to share with her. Garth, Laura, Ashley, and Jesse came along with us and we had a ton of fun. We listened to a storyteller, ate kettle corn, launched gourds with a giant slingshot, took a wagon ride, rode a train, jumped in a giant pile of hay, went down a VERY slow slide, and walked through the blackout maze. J and I had so much fun walking through the blackout maze arm in arm trying not to crash into walls! It's been a long time since I laughed that hard. To top it off, we walked through the haunted hollow and corn maze. After that we were pretty well exhausted, so we headed home. We chatted for a while and then crashed for the night.

The next morning we all dragged ourselves out of bed and J came with us to church. Then we went home, ate lunch, and the real fun began. While J was here she wanted to meet the family. So by the end of Sunday, J had met my mom and all but three of my eight siblings and their families. She also got the chance to meet a couple of our family friends and my grandparents. I was a bit worried that we might overwhelm her since our family is big and noisy, but she liked everyone.

We are SO blessed that such an amazing woman selected us to place her baby with. And we are SO lucky that she lives only a few hours from us so we get to see her often. We're already looking forward to our next visit with her!

In other news, we are going to be extremely busy and stressed over the next couple of weeks with some different things. Next Monday especially is going to be a difficult day, so we are asking for prayers on our behalf.

Drum Roll Please...

Day 233 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

Today was an awesome day. We had our ultrasound with our birth mom, J, and we also met our birth father, T, for the first time! It was so exciting, I can hardly contain myself.

So, I will try to describe for you how the ultrasound went.

First, the nurse called us all back. You could tell she was sort of surprised to have all four of us back there. But, to her credit, she took it all in stride and didn't even flinch when J explained that we are adopting her baby. There was an awkward moment at that point where Jeena had to expose her belly and... yeah... while we all averted our eyes. But then, the ultrasound tech said, "there's your baby!" We looked up and there on the giant screen was the most precious little baby. The nurse showed us the baby's profile, hands, feet, organs, etc... I was nearly speechless the whole time and trying not to embarrass myself by sobbing like a 3 year old girl. Then the nurse asked us if we wanted to know whether the baby was a boy or a girl. All four of us just about shouted at her: OF COURSE!!!

So the nurse pulls up the most perfect little shot of the baby's teeny tiny heiny. Of course, the baby was completely obedient and didn't even hide for a second. And the nurse said...

"I have never seen a more clear, perfect shot of a GIRL! 100%!"

Update

Day 222 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

Today was a great day! We went and spent the evening with our birthmom J! We had dinner and then went up the canyon to take some fun pictures. J got a new puppy named Molly and she is so adorable! Also, she gave me permission to share a picture of her cute little belly! So here J is at 19 weeks. Only one more week and then we'll be halfway through this pregnancy and we'll get to find out the baby's gender! We're so excited!!! Anyway, for your viewing pleasure...

A Modern Day Miracle

Day 212 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

Miracles do happen. Our birth father signed all of his legal paperwork today. He did it in the presence of our birth mother, her caseworker, and a notary. In the state where we live, he has no opportunity to change his mind now that the papers are signed.

I would be lying if I told you that I'm not relieved. It feels like a small burden has been lifted from our shoulders. But, at the same time, we feel a sadness knowing how difficult it must be for him today. We will continue to pray for him every day just as we have for the past year since we started this adoption process. We are so thankful for him regardless of some of the poor decisions he has made. We respect the great leap of faith he has taken in trusting us to follow through on our word. We hope he knows that we really meant what we said when we promised him some openness in this adoption.

Today we are eternally thankful to a man named T, and that he made such a courageous decision.

Adoption is a roller coaster

Day 211 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

So... in case you didn't know this already...

The entire process of adopting is a roller coaster. It's full of ups, and unfortunately, it's also full of downs. Today we seem to be experiencing another down.

We received a call from our birthmom, J, this morning. Our birthfather, T, called J this morning to tell her that he has decided not to sign the adoption papers. He has done a lot of flip-flopping in the past, so we are not giving up on things yet. The caseworkers are trying to get a hold of him to try and talk things through.

We are hopeful, but prepared for the worst. We are experienced enough in adoption to understand that sometimes things just don't work out the way we want. But today we are praying for a miracle. We hope you will all pray with us.

Are you a waiting family? Then you NEED this information

Day 207 Waiting for our baby through the miracle of adoption

Are you a family that is waiting to adopt a child? How long have you been waiting? I bet it feels like forever. So I'm going to say the "scary words" that a lot of adoptive couples avoid-

Special Needs Adoption

My question for all of you is, "why?" Why are you reluctant to adopt a child with special needs? Every day, I am thankful that I get to work with adults with disabilities. They are some of my closest friends, and very dear to my heart. And YES, some of these adults have SEVERE disabilities. But that doesn't matter. I love them love them love them!

Now, I know what some of you are thinking. You're thinking- "Well, she doesn't have room to talk. She hasn't adopted a special needs child, and she's matched with a birthmom who is expecting a healthy infant." So, please know that Malone and I were considered VERY seriously for at least four different special needs situations. We tried our dangdest (yep, I really just used that word) to bring one of those babies into our family, and we were extremely disappointed when each situation fell through. Heavenly Father just had another plan for us. For now.

Now, on to the meat of this conversation... Today I saw pictures of four absolutely precious brand new babies. These babies are waiting for their forever families. So this is my challenge. For just a moment, lay aside all of your "requirements" for the baby you want to adopt. Open your mind completely. Now, go take a look at these adorable children. I dare you not to fall in love. Click HERE to check out Christopher, Johnny, Ryan, and Sarah with Spence-Chapin adoption services. If you are worried about finances, just toss that thought away. This adoption agency is VERY affordable. I will warn you that they are difficult to get a hold of though.

Now, I have shown you four amazing opportunities. But keep your mind open for a moment longer, and let me introduce you to one of the greatest resources out there for waiting families.

Not long ago, we attended the National Families Supporting Adoption Conference in Layton, Utah. It was FANTASTIC. Every class was extremely informative, but there was one class that really stuck. It was taught by a woman who has adopted a number of special needs children internationally. And she has done so incurring very little expense. She has recently begun a sort of matching service where she connects waiting families with waiting infants who have special needs. These disabilities range from mild to severe. The best part? Her services are FREE. Let me just say that again... FREE! Did you catch on to that? Let me emphasize that one more time... FREE. What in the adoption world is FREE? NOTHING. You're crazy if you don't take advantage of this opportunity.

Anyway, in the class she said that in just a short time she had already placed lots of babies with families, and had to send away TEN little babies because she couldn't find enough families. We were shocked. When we got home from the conference, we signed up for her service right away. Ironically, just shortly after we finished all of the paperwork for her, we were selected by our birthmom, J, through LDS Family Services. BUT, right after our paperwork was completed, we received tips about FIVE different babies that were immediately available for adoption. Some of these babies had very severe disabilities. Some had only minor problems. Had J not matched with us right before that, we definitely would have said yes to at least one of those babies. I am not exaggerating when I say that after signing up with this service, you could potentially be parents within the next month. That's how badly they need families.

So, do I have you chomping at the bit? I hope so. Click HERE to visit her website and read more about her services. After all, just reading about it doesn't obligate you. So give it a go.

Now, I know this is getting long, but let me give you one more incentive. Go and sign up with this service. Then, if you receive information about a child with a disability that you are unfamiliar with or have questions about, I want you to CONTACT ME. Although I am not a total expert on disabilities, I am very familiar with many of these disabilities. If it is a disability that I work with, I will tell you EXACTLY what it is like to work with a person on a day-to-day basis with that disability. I will also be able to provide informational resources about that specific disability.

Now, why would I do this? The answer is simple. I'm willing to do this because I think most of you are either completely uninformed about specific disabilities OR you have been given misinformation. And it makes me sad that you are rejecting opportunities based on that. I have been asked before which disability I find easiest to work with. My answer? Downs Syndrome. Does that surprise you? I know it surprised the person I was talking to. This is just one example of a disability that is WIDELY misunderstood. I could go on forever with more examples, but I'll stop. (FOR NOW) However, I will leave this open invitation- if you have questions ASK ME. I'm not afraid to answer questions openly and honestly. If there is a disability that is VERY difficult, I will tell you. If there is a disability that is VERY expensive, I will tell you. Email me at maloneandbrittanyadopt@gmail.com. My only request is that you pray, and ask God to help you open your mind and heart to the possibility of adopting one of his special children. After all, they need love too.