Well, it's finally time to reveal our secret! After much patience on the part of our friends and family, we are finally ready to share our secret.
So, as our Christmas gift to you, we are excited to share with you that we are having a . . .
GIRL!!!!!
We are very excited to have another little girl in our family and are excitedly discussing baby girl names.
Merry Christmas to you and yours! We hope the new year brings you health and happiness but most especially, the peace of the knowledge of Jesus Christ and His plan of happiness.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
4 and 1/2
Today marks exactly 4 and a 1/2 years since we held our Baby G in our arms and said goodbye. I am thinking of him today, especially with the Christmas season upon us.
I can't help but wonder how our Christmas would have been different with a 4 year old little boy. I imagine this year he would have really caught on to the Christmas spirit. Maybe he would have written his own letter to Santa Clause and helped me make the sugar cookies on Christmas Eve. We would have had extra presents under the tree and would have had to have been extra careful in what we said and how we hid the Christmas gifts to help keep Santa's secret. I wonder if he would have really understood the true meaning of Christmas. He would have participated in our ward's nativity as a shepherd boy.
(Sigh) The most beautiful part though about all of this is that I know that even if I can't have all of those things right now, because of the Savior I will get to have my baby G back in my arms someday. I miss him to be sure, and sometimes it's harder than others. But someday when we are reunited it will be one of the sweetest moments of my life. I am thankful for the blessing of the knowledge of eternal families. If you would like to learn more about the faith that gives me so much hope, click HERE to check out an awesome website.
I can't help but wonder how our Christmas would have been different with a 4 year old little boy. I imagine this year he would have really caught on to the Christmas spirit. Maybe he would have written his own letter to Santa Clause and helped me make the sugar cookies on Christmas Eve. We would have had extra presents under the tree and would have had to have been extra careful in what we said and how we hid the Christmas gifts to help keep Santa's secret. I wonder if he would have really understood the true meaning of Christmas. He would have participated in our ward's nativity as a shepherd boy.
(Sigh) The most beautiful part though about all of this is that I know that even if I can't have all of those things right now, because of the Savior I will get to have my baby G back in my arms someday. I miss him to be sure, and sometimes it's harder than others. But someday when we are reunited it will be one of the sweetest moments of my life. I am thankful for the blessing of the knowledge of eternal families. If you would like to learn more about the faith that gives me so much hope, click HERE to check out an awesome website.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
The big ultrasound!
Well, yesterday Malone and I went to our doctor's office for the "big ultrasound." In reality, I will continue to have ultrasounds every two weeks to keep a check on my cervix.
While I LOVE that I get to see my baby so often, I hate holding my breath every time we go in there. We know it's basically inevitable that my cervix will shorten to a dangerous length prematurely, it's just a matter of when that happens. With Baby G, I was 24 weeks along when we discovered the cervix had opened. With Baby K I was about 23 weeks along when my cervix opened down to the stitch. So hopefully we'll have at least one more good ultrasound before we have to face things like steroid shots and bed rest.
Anyhow, enough of the gloominess. We will deal with those things when they come, but I am refusing to allow myself to become overly anxious about something I have no control over.
So, on to the more exciting stuff! According to our ultrasound, the baby's brain is growing normally. The tech showed us both hemispheres of the brain as well as the baby's cerebellum. She also took a look at the baby's heart and we could see all four chambers looking just right. Then she showed us the baby's belly and we could see the baby's stomach which is all right on target. The placenta looks healthy as well and is in a normal location. Among other things she looked at were the length of the baby's femur, the size of the head and belly, and the length of the cervix. The ultrasound technician estimated the baby's current weight at 9 oz, which is exactly average. So, we had good news about everything! In fact, we received GREAT news about the cervix in that it developed a little extra length than normal this time, so hopefully it will last a bit longer. YAY! So, all in all, we are very thankful for such a good healthy report and for the technology that allows us to keep an eye on my body.
Of course, I know you're all wondering whether or not we were able to find out the baby's gender.
Welllllll......
YES! We were able to get a clear shot of our little baby's bum. This baby is not nearly as shy as Baby K was the first time we tried to take a peak. So yes, we know the gender.
To that end, Malone and I are excited to announce that in May 2012, our family will be blessed with a little baby . . . .
TO BE CONTINUED CHRISTMAS EVE
(You have only 2 more days to make your guess as to whether we are having a boy or a girl! Check out our poll on the right hand side of the blog)
While I LOVE that I get to see my baby so often, I hate holding my breath every time we go in there. We know it's basically inevitable that my cervix will shorten to a dangerous length prematurely, it's just a matter of when that happens. With Baby G, I was 24 weeks along when we discovered the cervix had opened. With Baby K I was about 23 weeks along when my cervix opened down to the stitch. So hopefully we'll have at least one more good ultrasound before we have to face things like steroid shots and bed rest.
Anyhow, enough of the gloominess. We will deal with those things when they come, but I am refusing to allow myself to become overly anxious about something I have no control over.
So, on to the more exciting stuff! According to our ultrasound, the baby's brain is growing normally. The tech showed us both hemispheres of the brain as well as the baby's cerebellum. She also took a look at the baby's heart and we could see all four chambers looking just right. Then she showed us the baby's belly and we could see the baby's stomach which is all right on target. The placenta looks healthy as well and is in a normal location. Among other things she looked at were the length of the baby's femur, the size of the head and belly, and the length of the cervix. The ultrasound technician estimated the baby's current weight at 9 oz, which is exactly average. So, we had good news about everything! In fact, we received GREAT news about the cervix in that it developed a little extra length than normal this time, so hopefully it will last a bit longer. YAY! So, all in all, we are very thankful for such a good healthy report and for the technology that allows us to keep an eye on my body.
Of course, I know you're all wondering whether or not we were able to find out the baby's gender.
Welllllll......
YES! We were able to get a clear shot of our little baby's bum. This baby is not nearly as shy as Baby K was the first time we tried to take a peak. So yes, we know the gender.
To that end, Malone and I are excited to announce that in May 2012, our family will be blessed with a little baby . . . .
TO BE CONTINUED CHRISTMAS EVE
(You have only 2 more days to make your guess as to whether we are having a boy or a girl! Check out our poll on the right hand side of the blog)
Monday, December 19, 2011
Pink or Blue?
Well the time is quickly coming for us to (hopefully) find out whether or not our third baby is a boy or a girl. I am just over 18 weeks along and we are ecstatic to have our post-op appointment (to check the cervix and make sure it's not being rebellious yet) and to have our first 3D ultrasound with this pregnancy. I have had two ultrasounds so far since I became pregnant, but both of them were with the old machine and gave us only a fuzzy glimpse of our little one. It is such a blessing that we have the ability to check in on the baby and to keep a close check on the status of my cervix.
Anyhow, we are really hoping that the baby is not modest and will let us get a glimpse. Baby K made us wait an extra 2 weeks or so, so we're hoping that doesn't happen again. :)
A lot of people ask us whether or not we think we are having a boy or a girl. We all three seem to have varying opinions, so here is the current status of our little family's opinions.
Malone is absolutely convinced that we are having a boy. He is so certain that he has been reluctant to discuss girl names with me. He hasn't been wrong yet either, so he has something of a reputation to uphold.
I don't really have a gut feeling either way. It would be fun to have a boy and I know it would be very healing to hold a healthy son in my arms considering the trauma we experienced with the premature birth and subsequent loss of our baby G. However, I also love having a baby girl too. Either way I will be happy. Sometimes Malone manages to convince me we're having a boy but then the next second I will be swaying toward the idea of having another girl. So I guess I'm a fence sitter.
Our baby K, on the other hand has recently formed a definite opinion. This was a conversation I had with her recently:
Me: "Baby K do you want a baby brother or sister?" Baby K: "Sister" (She never answers the same on this question by the way. She doesn't quite understand yet) Me: "But what if you have a baby brother?" Baby K: "No way!!!"
Anyhow, we are really hoping that the baby is not modest and will let us get a glimpse. Baby K made us wait an extra 2 weeks or so, so we're hoping that doesn't happen again. :)
A lot of people ask us whether or not we think we are having a boy or a girl. We all three seem to have varying opinions, so here is the current status of our little family's opinions.
Malone is absolutely convinced that we are having a boy. He is so certain that he has been reluctant to discuss girl names with me. He hasn't been wrong yet either, so he has something of a reputation to uphold.
I don't really have a gut feeling either way. It would be fun to have a boy and I know it would be very healing to hold a healthy son in my arms considering the trauma we experienced with the premature birth and subsequent loss of our baby G. However, I also love having a baby girl too. Either way I will be happy. Sometimes Malone manages to convince me we're having a boy but then the next second I will be swaying toward the idea of having another girl. So I guess I'm a fence sitter.
Our baby K, on the other hand has recently formed a definite opinion. This was a conversation I had with her recently:
Me: "Baby K do you want a baby brother or sister?" Baby K: "Sister" (She never answers the same on this question by the way. She doesn't quite understand yet) Me: "But what if you have a baby brother?" Baby K: "No way!!!"
Monday, December 5, 2011
Surgery
Well, the surgery is done and over with. I had a great slot in the schedule this morning at 7:30 am. In fact I was very first in the operating room! This was a such a tender mercy from God. I was so nervous I couldn't sleep later than 4:20 this morning and was basically holding my breath until the moment they put me under. Needless to say, I was glad to be first to get it over with.
I do have to say however, that I was much more peaceful about this surgery than the last one. Malone and I were able to attend the temple on Saturday and through some very sacred personal experiences, I knew everything would be ok. I am so thankful to Heavenly Father for giving me the peace and comfort I so badly needed.
The surgery went very well. Both baby and I are doing fine. I was in the operating room at 7:30 am and sent home at about 11:00, so the doctors and nurses were all very efficient. I liked my anesthesiologist much better this time too. He had a great bedside manner and I felt much more informed about what was going to happen than the last time I had this surgery. My OB came back after the surgery and let Malone know that the stitch went in very well. Currently my cervix is still pretty thick, so the timing of the cerclage was perfect. In fact, Dr. B. said the cerclage went in so well it might be a little hard to get it back out again 21 weeks from now. :)
I am in quite a bit of pain now which stinks. BUT, I know it is so worth it to have another little miracle baby in our family. Thank heaven for modern medicine. And thank heaven for Malone. He is doing such a good job taking care of me.
Our baby K on the other hand is not handling this well. She's too young to understand why she has to be gentle with me. This morning when Malone carefully helped me in the front door she was so happy to see me. She ran to me with a huge smile on her face and her arms wide open for me, wanting me to pick her up. Since I can't lift anything I had to just try to give her a hug and then move away. She was heartbroken and crying big fat crocodile tears that I couldn't pick her up. Malone held her for a while to calm her down but now she is very upset with me. I know it's irrational but it all makes me feel like a terrible mother. I do not do well with these limitations.
But, like I said, I know it will all be worth it when I'm snuggling both my babies in my arms in just another 5 months or so. I can hardly wait. :)
So, here we are now. I am a little about 16 and a half weeks along today. We're getting closer to the halfway point which I am very very excited about.
Our next appointment to look forward to is a full-on ultrasound on December 20th. We can't wait to see our baby and "hopefully" (fingers crossed) this baby won't be shy like Baby K was and will let us know if he or she is a boy or a girl.
I do have to say however, that I was much more peaceful about this surgery than the last one. Malone and I were able to attend the temple on Saturday and through some very sacred personal experiences, I knew everything would be ok. I am so thankful to Heavenly Father for giving me the peace and comfort I so badly needed.
The surgery went very well. Both baby and I are doing fine. I was in the operating room at 7:30 am and sent home at about 11:00, so the doctors and nurses were all very efficient. I liked my anesthesiologist much better this time too. He had a great bedside manner and I felt much more informed about what was going to happen than the last time I had this surgery. My OB came back after the surgery and let Malone know that the stitch went in very well. Currently my cervix is still pretty thick, so the timing of the cerclage was perfect. In fact, Dr. B. said the cerclage went in so well it might be a little hard to get it back out again 21 weeks from now. :)
I am in quite a bit of pain now which stinks. BUT, I know it is so worth it to have another little miracle baby in our family. Thank heaven for modern medicine. And thank heaven for Malone. He is doing such a good job taking care of me.
Our baby K on the other hand is not handling this well. She's too young to understand why she has to be gentle with me. This morning when Malone carefully helped me in the front door she was so happy to see me. She ran to me with a huge smile on her face and her arms wide open for me, wanting me to pick her up. Since I can't lift anything I had to just try to give her a hug and then move away. She was heartbroken and crying big fat crocodile tears that I couldn't pick her up. Malone held her for a while to calm her down but now she is very upset with me. I know it's irrational but it all makes me feel like a terrible mother. I do not do well with these limitations.
But, like I said, I know it will all be worth it when I'm snuggling both my babies in my arms in just another 5 months or so. I can hardly wait. :)
So, here we are now. I am a little about 16 and a half weeks along today. We're getting closer to the halfway point which I am very very excited about.
Our next appointment to look forward to is a full-on ultrasound on December 20th. We can't wait to see our baby and "hopefully" (fingers crossed) this baby won't be shy like Baby K was and will let us know if he or she is a boy or a girl.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Our little comedian
I am so thankful for my daughter. She makes me giggle every day. I can't help it, she does such funny things! For example:
Malone got up early-ish this morning to make breakfast. He made one of my favorites: Belgian Waffles. He even made a little homemade whipped cream to go with it! Isn't he the sweetest husband? :)
Anyway, after Baby K made an astronomical mess of herself with the whipped cream and syrup, a bath was mandatory. So I freed her from her high chair and away to the bathtub she ran.
After a quick shampoo and body wash, I start to drain the bath water. A minute after the water starts draining Baby K stands up and gets a very serious look on her face. So I say to her, "Did you just pee pee in the bathtub?" Immediately after I say this, Baby K looks down at herself, starts peeing, looks back up at me and says "Ew. Gross."
Malone got up early-ish this morning to make breakfast. He made one of my favorites: Belgian Waffles. He even made a little homemade whipped cream to go with it! Isn't he the sweetest husband? :)
Anyway, after Baby K made an astronomical mess of herself with the whipped cream and syrup, a bath was mandatory. So I freed her from her high chair and away to the bathtub she ran.
After a quick shampoo and body wash, I start to drain the bath water. A minute after the water starts draining Baby K stands up and gets a very serious look on her face. So I say to her, "Did you just pee pee in the bathtub?" Immediately after I say this, Baby K looks down at herself, starts peeing, looks back up at me and says "Ew. Gross."
Surgery is officially scheduled
Well... The surgery is officially scheduled. I am supposed to be at the hospital checked into my room at 6:30 am Monday morning. The surgery is happening at 7:30.
I am so nervous, I'm really having a hard time keeping myself collected. I go along thinking I'm ok and then break into tears at the slightest mention of the surgery. I know it's not an extremely complicated surgery, but the idea of being put completely under and being intubated really freaks me out. Not to mention the intense bundle of nerves I feel about the risk associated with surgery so close to the baby's amniotic sack. There is only 3 cm space for the doctor to work within.
I have complete confidence in the doctors though. But more importantly, I have faith that God will take care of me and my baby. He knows what is best for my family and will act accordingly. So... I guess I will just have to hold my breath until Monday after the surgery. See ya on the flip side!
I am so nervous, I'm really having a hard time keeping myself collected. I go along thinking I'm ok and then break into tears at the slightest mention of the surgery. I know it's not an extremely complicated surgery, but the idea of being put completely under and being intubated really freaks me out. Not to mention the intense bundle of nerves I feel about the risk associated with surgery so close to the baby's amniotic sack. There is only 3 cm space for the doctor to work within.
I have complete confidence in the doctors though. But more importantly, I have faith that God will take care of me and my baby. He knows what is best for my family and will act accordingly. So... I guess I will just have to hold my breath until Monday after the surgery. See ya on the flip side!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Baby Kicks
So I know I'm only about 16 weeks along, but a few days ago I felt the baby give a good kick for the first time! This is by far my absolute favorite part of pregnancy. Every time I feel this baby kicking I am reminded just how much of a miracle he or she is and I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for providing this opportunity.
On that note, a week from today is my surgery. (Dun dun dun) I can't believe it's already time for the cerclage! This pregnancy is seriously flying by. I am so nervous. I try not to worry, but it's unavoidable to an extent. As the day looms closer, it's getting harder not to think about it. I have to arrange for someone to take my clients for work, I have to arrange to have all of my coursework for my classes completed before the day, I had to arrange to take one final from home in bed, arrange for someone to watch Baby K, etc... etc... etc... It's all working out though, which I am very grateful for.
Tomorrow is my third doctor's appointment. We will be going over all of the pre-operation stuff. I had forgotten what this all felt like from last time. But although I am very nervous for the surgery, I am really hoping that it doesn't get postponed for any reason. I want to have the operation and the recovery done and over with already so I can quit holding my breath.
On that note, a week from today is my surgery. (Dun dun dun) I can't believe it's already time for the cerclage! This pregnancy is seriously flying by. I am so nervous. I try not to worry, but it's unavoidable to an extent. As the day looms closer, it's getting harder not to think about it. I have to arrange for someone to take my clients for work, I have to arrange to have all of my coursework for my classes completed before the day, I had to arrange to take one final from home in bed, arrange for someone to watch Baby K, etc... etc... etc... It's all working out though, which I am very grateful for.
Tomorrow is my third doctor's appointment. We will be going over all of the pre-operation stuff. I had forgotten what this all felt like from last time. But although I am very nervous for the surgery, I am really hoping that it doesn't get postponed for any reason. I want to have the operation and the recovery done and over with already so I can quit holding my breath.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Doctor's Visit #2
Well, tomorrow is our second doctor's appointment with this pregnancy! I am 12 and 1/2 weeks along. I am super excited to go to this appointment. Of course, as I am still in the "danger zone" of the first trimester I am also feeling a bit of trepidation. There's always that thought of "what if" something goes wrong? But, I am choosing not to dwell on those negative thoughts. I can't get away from them entirely. As a result of our previous losses, my brain has kind of become hard wired to anticipate something bad happening. But, remember, I am choosing OPTIMISM! :)
This optimistic view point has really been helping me. This pregnancy has been chalk full of terrible pregnancy symptoms. Way WAY worse than either of my two previous pregnancies. But, being optimistic helps me endure and enjoy this more than I would have otherwise.
I remember when I was pregnant with Kyrsta being CONSTANTLY afraid. Looking back on it, I really committed a huge injustice because I gave in to that fear. I feel like I kind of failed my infertile friends who I know would give anything to be in that position, I failed my husband and family who really deserved to enjoy it just as much as I deserved it, and most of all I failed myself. I should have been able to experience the JOY that is supposed to come along with pregnancy. But because of my fear I felt that joy only very very rarely. Instead, I mostly felt paranoia. Which, by the way, is no good.
Anyway, lesson learned. In spite of my all-consuming nausea and fatigue, my already swelling waistline and "cough" chest, the fiery heartburn, the gazillions of nosebleeds, etc... I am ENJOYING this pregnancy. I am excited to see my little one on the screen tomorrow and praying for his or her healthy heartbeat. So that's it for now. Just staying optimistic and finding the JOY. :)
This optimistic view point has really been helping me. This pregnancy has been chalk full of terrible pregnancy symptoms. Way WAY worse than either of my two previous pregnancies. But, being optimistic helps me endure and enjoy this more than I would have otherwise.
I remember when I was pregnant with Kyrsta being CONSTANTLY afraid. Looking back on it, I really committed a huge injustice because I gave in to that fear. I feel like I kind of failed my infertile friends who I know would give anything to be in that position, I failed my husband and family who really deserved to enjoy it just as much as I deserved it, and most of all I failed myself. I should have been able to experience the JOY that is supposed to come along with pregnancy. But because of my fear I felt that joy only very very rarely. Instead, I mostly felt paranoia. Which, by the way, is no good.
Anyway, lesson learned. In spite of my all-consuming nausea and fatigue, my already swelling waistline and "cough" chest, the fiery heartburn, the gazillions of nosebleeds, etc... I am ENJOYING this pregnancy. I am excited to see my little one on the screen tomorrow and praying for his or her healthy heartbeat. So that's it for now. Just staying optimistic and finding the JOY. :)
Monday, October 24, 2011
Comings and Goings
Well, the beginning of the school year has come and gone. We are actually midway through the semester and I couldn't be happier to be on the downhill slope. So far things are going well. I have been working hard and so far it has been paying off with good grades. But, the semester has been a difficult one. I am finding it difficult to balance between all my responsibilities with family, school, work, and church. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it, but it does make me nervous for next year when I will be participating in a full-time practicum (like an internship) and full-time school for my program requirements. But, since I can't do anything about that right now, I'll just focus on the classes I am in right now.
As for Malone, he is doing really well right now in his work and school. He just received word that a manuscript he submitted to the Journal of Biological Chemistry was accepted! This is a huge step toward his ability to complete his PhD. He has worked so hard for this and we are so proud of him.
Our baby K seems to be developing by a mile every day, both physically and intellectually. The other day she climbed out of her crib, so we are saying goodbye to the crib and hello to her "big girl" bed. We are nervous that she won't transition very well but are trying to stay optimistic and make it a good thing for her. She has also developed some new dance moves which, in my opinion, are adorable. She used to just bounce up and down, but now she stomps her feet, twirls, and swings her arms back and forth. It is so cute! She has also learned some new words including the words "chips" (which she pronounces as bips), some names of family members, and the words "whoa" "binky" "baby" and "yes". She will also point at things she likes and say, "that's cool!" We are especially glad that she is doing better at telling the difference between the words "no" and "yes" as she is starting to understand questions that we ask her and answer appropriately. Another cute skill she has developed is blowing kisses, and when you give her a hug she will now pat your back. Some of her favorite pasttimes are stacking (and then knocking down) blocks and playing with her Magnadoodle.
Well, I guess that's about it for now. Hope all is well with you readers out there! And Happy Halloween in a week! We just got our costumes and are looking forward to taking Kyrsta to a couple neighbors' and family members' houses for "trick or treating". Malone is going to be a scarecrow, I am going to be a wicked witch, and Kyrsta is going to be Dorothy.
As for Malone, he is doing really well right now in his work and school. He just received word that a manuscript he submitted to the Journal of Biological Chemistry was accepted! This is a huge step toward his ability to complete his PhD. He has worked so hard for this and we are so proud of him.
Our baby K seems to be developing by a mile every day, both physically and intellectually. The other day she climbed out of her crib, so we are saying goodbye to the crib and hello to her "big girl" bed. We are nervous that she won't transition very well but are trying to stay optimistic and make it a good thing for her. She has also developed some new dance moves which, in my opinion, are adorable. She used to just bounce up and down, but now she stomps her feet, twirls, and swings her arms back and forth. It is so cute! She has also learned some new words including the words "chips" (which she pronounces as bips), some names of family members, and the words "whoa" "binky" "baby" and "yes". She will also point at things she likes and say, "that's cool!" We are especially glad that she is doing better at telling the difference between the words "no" and "yes" as she is starting to understand questions that we ask her and answer appropriately. Another cute skill she has developed is blowing kisses, and when you give her a hug she will now pat your back. Some of her favorite pasttimes are stacking (and then knocking down) blocks and playing with her Magnadoodle.
Well, I guess that's about it for now. Hope all is well with you readers out there! And Happy Halloween in a week! We just got our costumes and are looking forward to taking Kyrsta to a couple neighbors' and family members' houses for "trick or treating". Malone is going to be a scarecrow, I am going to be a wicked witch, and Kyrsta is going to be Dorothy.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
First Doctor's Visit
Today is my first visit to the Doctor with this pregnancy. Today will be the first ultrasound. The doctor will check for the baby's heartbeat. It seems everyone I know has been having miscarriages recently. I am so nervous. I am terrified that we will get there and there will be something wrong. I leave for the appointment in 30 minutes. There are butterflies in my stomach. I wish someone would tell those butterflies to stay still. They are making the morning sickness worse. And that's saying a lot because up until right about now, I didn't think it could get any worse. Ugh.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Big Huge GIGANTIC
I can't believe I am sitting in front of my computer right now writing this post. It still feels so surreal. I know nobody will read this for a long time because Malone and I have decided to wait to tell anyone our good news until we feel a little more secure, but I still feel it is important to record my feelings right now. Because in my wildest dreams, this is an experience I NEVER anticipated having.
So what is so unbelievable?? Well, our AMAZING news is that...
I AM PREGNANT.
I know, I have been pregnant before. This is actually our third child. But this is such a new and surreal experience for us because this pregnancy came comparatively easily. Every other time we have made "the decision" to try to get pregnant, we have had no luck. In the past we had tried everything within our power and kept failing to conceive. Fertility medications, specialists, etc... Before, we couldn't get pregnant to save our lives. But this time?
Well, a little while ago Malone and I decided it was time to start trying again for a biological child. We had gone back and forth multiple times about the likelihood of pregnancy and the physical ramifications and compared them to the likelihood of adoption and all the emotional ramifications. Either option sounded exhausting. But we badly wanted another child. So, through much prayer and some fasting, we received a peaceful feeling that told us it would be best to try again for a biological child.
So, we decided OPTIMISM would be the new theme in our home. We knew that there was a very good chance things wouldn't work out the way we planned, but we were going to move forward and act on the assumption that everything would be ok. We bought an awesome double jogging stroller from my brother and sister-in-law for a great deal. Sure, we knew we might not get to use it if baby K grew too big before we were blessed with another child, but... Optimism. We saw a good deal on some cute little baby boy clothes... Optimism. Made a goal to get the car paid off and sell it so we can use the money and next year's tax returns to (mostly) buy a minivan... Optimism. Stopped using the birth control that regulates my PCOS and started trying to conceive again... Optimism.
Well, we had no luck at first. We tried not to let it stress us out. We knew we were in for the long haul when we started trying again. But then I developed a cyst on each of my ovaries. They both burst. It was painful. I suspected my PCOS must be getting out of control again for this to happen. That's what's happened before. And unfortunately, when my PCOS is out of control there is almost no hope of conceiving.
So, with this knowledge. Malone and I decided to try one more month. If I didn't conceive during August, I would go back to the doctor. I was prepared for the craziness that would ensue after that appointment- the chemicals to force my body to slough the tissue (which also cause some completely irritating hormone swings that are SEVERE. Malone calls it the b**** pill). After that, the Dr. would put me on birth control a minimum of 3 months to force my body back to some semblance of normalcy. So, we knew that unless I conceived during August it would most likely be another 4 months before we could try again. Ugh. We were frustrated. But, remember, we had chosen OPTIMISM. So, we shrugged our shoulders and took comfort in the fact that we were trying to follow the path Heavenly Father had directed us to take.
Well, we were closely marking the days until my next monthly was supposed to start. The day came. No sign of Aunt Flow. Optimism. The next day came. Still no sign of Aunt Flow. Optimism. The third, fourth, and fifth days all came and went without a sign of Aunt Flow. HOPE.
At the end of the fifth day, I decided I just couldn't handle it. I wanted to test. I pulled out my dollar-store pregnancy test and... uh... followed the directions (I'll put it that way to avoid being crude.) The test says you can read it any time within the first ten minutes. I decided to wait nine minutes before checking. I wanted to be sure that the test would be as clear as possible. So I waited and waited and waited. It felt like an eternity. Then I finally let myself look. I was so scared it would be negative. I picked it up and... it appeared to be NEGATIVE. Ugh. Frustration. But I just couldn't believe it. I really thought it would have a beautiful pink line for me.
So I picked it back up and scrutinized that stupid test. As I looked very very closely at it, lo and behold, there appeared to be a line. It was so faint that it was nearly invisible. I couldn't tell if it really was there or if it was my imagination. So I resolved to go to the Student Health Center on campus. I knew they conducted serum pregnancy tests which are far more accurate.
I went in and let them draw my blood for the test. After they spin it down, you have to wait 10 minutes before they are allowed to read your test result. I was waiting on pins and needles and then realized that because of the long wait in the waiting room if I waited the full ten minutes for them to read the result, I would be late giving my brother a ride to work. He had been watching Baby K for me, so I really owed it to him to be on time. Argh. I approached the nurse and she said it would be all right for me to leave and call back in a half hour to get the result.
This really tested my patience, but I left, picked up my brother and Baby K, and took my brother to work. I then ran around town to kill some time and finally got the guts to make the call. I got the nurse on the phone and this is how the conversation went:
Me: "Hi, my name is Brittany Willis. I was just in for a blood serum pregnancy test and was told I could call back for my result."
Nurse: "Oh hi Brittany! Let me get the result of that test for you. Will you hold?"
Me: Sure (I say this with as much calm as I can force myself to muster)
(LONG pause then nurse returns to the phone.)
Nurse: "Hello, Brittany?"
Me: "Yes, this is me"
Nurse: "Hi I have the result of your test right here. Your test came back, ummm... (long pause) Well, your test came back... (long pause) Oh ok, there it is, it's positive." (I think she was having trouble finding the spot on the form with the result on it.)
I was floored. I had parked my car before calling and after hanging up I just sat in the car smiling and laughing and crying and praying for probably a good fifteen minutes. After I collected myself I went back to the student health center to get a copy of my results. I was grinning from ear to ear and when I went inside the nurse handed me the paperwork and I left on cloud nine.
I went home and didn't tell anyone. (ok, unless you count telling Baby K who was in the car. I guess she was the first one to know) I wanted to surprise Malone with the news. So we went about our nightly routine as usual. I was so proud of myself for keeping the secret so long! We got Baby K to bed, settled in for a little quiet time just the two of us and I pulled out my Ipod. I asked Malone to be silly and dance with me and turned on the song "Having My Baby." Malone held me close and as soon as he heard the words pulled away with a huge smile on his face and said, "Brittany! Are you pregnant!?!" With tears streaming down my face I just smiled and nodded, got the paperwork to show him and we kept dancing. It was a very sweet moment that I will never forget.
So, here we are. My due date is May 19, 2012. I am five weeks pregnant today. We are ecstatic. But, it still doesn't quite seem real. I completely did not expect this to happen. It's hard to describe, but it's hard to believe that I actually was able to conceive when we planned/wanted to conceive. It's like, for this one moment in my life, I am...
NORMAL.
I know that might not seem that amazing to most of you out there. For me, though, it's a miracle. For those who are infertile, I know you understand. When you are infertile and you watch everyone be able to plan their pregnancies to happen right when they want them, it is hard. For me it was even harder to watch as so many people I knew experienced unplanned and (heaven forbid) even unwanted pregnancies. I used to try to imagine what it was like to just have a body that functioned normally and became pregnant when it was supposed to. But I never thought it would actually happen. But now it has. It is wonderful but so surreal. I keep expecting something bad to happen because I have become accustomed to having to fight so hard every time we try to have a child. But most of all the emotion we are experiencing is gratitude. We are so grateful to Heavenly Father that He has a plan for our family. And even though we are scared right now, we know that He is in charge. So no matter what happens, we are thankful for this pregnancy, this gift. And we are looking forward to the future. With optimism.
So what is so unbelievable?? Well, our AMAZING news is that...
I AM PREGNANT.
I know, I have been pregnant before. This is actually our third child. But this is such a new and surreal experience for us because this pregnancy came comparatively easily. Every other time we have made "the decision" to try to get pregnant, we have had no luck. In the past we had tried everything within our power and kept failing to conceive. Fertility medications, specialists, etc... Before, we couldn't get pregnant to save our lives. But this time?
Well, a little while ago Malone and I decided it was time to start trying again for a biological child. We had gone back and forth multiple times about the likelihood of pregnancy and the physical ramifications and compared them to the likelihood of adoption and all the emotional ramifications. Either option sounded exhausting. But we badly wanted another child. So, through much prayer and some fasting, we received a peaceful feeling that told us it would be best to try again for a biological child.
So, we decided OPTIMISM would be the new theme in our home. We knew that there was a very good chance things wouldn't work out the way we planned, but we were going to move forward and act on the assumption that everything would be ok. We bought an awesome double jogging stroller from my brother and sister-in-law for a great deal. Sure, we knew we might not get to use it if baby K grew too big before we were blessed with another child, but... Optimism. We saw a good deal on some cute little baby boy clothes... Optimism. Made a goal to get the car paid off and sell it so we can use the money and next year's tax returns to (mostly) buy a minivan... Optimism. Stopped using the birth control that regulates my PCOS and started trying to conceive again... Optimism.
Well, we had no luck at first. We tried not to let it stress us out. We knew we were in for the long haul when we started trying again. But then I developed a cyst on each of my ovaries. They both burst. It was painful. I suspected my PCOS must be getting out of control again for this to happen. That's what's happened before. And unfortunately, when my PCOS is out of control there is almost no hope of conceiving.
So, with this knowledge. Malone and I decided to try one more month. If I didn't conceive during August, I would go back to the doctor. I was prepared for the craziness that would ensue after that appointment- the chemicals to force my body to slough the tissue (which also cause some completely irritating hormone swings that are SEVERE. Malone calls it the b**** pill). After that, the Dr. would put me on birth control a minimum of 3 months to force my body back to some semblance of normalcy. So, we knew that unless I conceived during August it would most likely be another 4 months before we could try again. Ugh. We were frustrated. But, remember, we had chosen OPTIMISM. So, we shrugged our shoulders and took comfort in the fact that we were trying to follow the path Heavenly Father had directed us to take.
Well, we were closely marking the days until my next monthly was supposed to start. The day came. No sign of Aunt Flow. Optimism. The next day came. Still no sign of Aunt Flow. Optimism. The third, fourth, and fifth days all came and went without a sign of Aunt Flow. HOPE.
At the end of the fifth day, I decided I just couldn't handle it. I wanted to test. I pulled out my dollar-store pregnancy test and... uh... followed the directions (I'll put it that way to avoid being crude.) The test says you can read it any time within the first ten minutes. I decided to wait nine minutes before checking. I wanted to be sure that the test would be as clear as possible. So I waited and waited and waited. It felt like an eternity. Then I finally let myself look. I was so scared it would be negative. I picked it up and... it appeared to be NEGATIVE. Ugh. Frustration. But I just couldn't believe it. I really thought it would have a beautiful pink line for me.
So I picked it back up and scrutinized that stupid test. As I looked very very closely at it, lo and behold, there appeared to be a line. It was so faint that it was nearly invisible. I couldn't tell if it really was there or if it was my imagination. So I resolved to go to the Student Health Center on campus. I knew they conducted serum pregnancy tests which are far more accurate.
I went in and let them draw my blood for the test. After they spin it down, you have to wait 10 minutes before they are allowed to read your test result. I was waiting on pins and needles and then realized that because of the long wait in the waiting room if I waited the full ten minutes for them to read the result, I would be late giving my brother a ride to work. He had been watching Baby K for me, so I really owed it to him to be on time. Argh. I approached the nurse and she said it would be all right for me to leave and call back in a half hour to get the result.
This really tested my patience, but I left, picked up my brother and Baby K, and took my brother to work. I then ran around town to kill some time and finally got the guts to make the call. I got the nurse on the phone and this is how the conversation went:
Me: "Hi, my name is Brittany Willis. I was just in for a blood serum pregnancy test and was told I could call back for my result."
Nurse: "Oh hi Brittany! Let me get the result of that test for you. Will you hold?"
Me: Sure (I say this with as much calm as I can force myself to muster)
(LONG pause then nurse returns to the phone.)
Nurse: "Hello, Brittany?"
Me: "Yes, this is me"
Nurse: "Hi I have the result of your test right here. Your test came back, ummm... (long pause) Well, your test came back... (long pause) Oh ok, there it is, it's positive." (I think she was having trouble finding the spot on the form with the result on it.)
I was floored. I had parked my car before calling and after hanging up I just sat in the car smiling and laughing and crying and praying for probably a good fifteen minutes. After I collected myself I went back to the student health center to get a copy of my results. I was grinning from ear to ear and when I went inside the nurse handed me the paperwork and I left on cloud nine.
I went home and didn't tell anyone. (ok, unless you count telling Baby K who was in the car. I guess she was the first one to know) I wanted to surprise Malone with the news. So we went about our nightly routine as usual. I was so proud of myself for keeping the secret so long! We got Baby K to bed, settled in for a little quiet time just the two of us and I pulled out my Ipod. I asked Malone to be silly and dance with me and turned on the song "Having My Baby." Malone held me close and as soon as he heard the words pulled away with a huge smile on his face and said, "Brittany! Are you pregnant!?!" With tears streaming down my face I just smiled and nodded, got the paperwork to show him and we kept dancing. It was a very sweet moment that I will never forget.
So, here we are. My due date is May 19, 2012. I am five weeks pregnant today. We are ecstatic. But, it still doesn't quite seem real. I completely did not expect this to happen. It's hard to describe, but it's hard to believe that I actually was able to conceive when we planned/wanted to conceive. It's like, for this one moment in my life, I am...
NORMAL.
I know that might not seem that amazing to most of you out there. For me, though, it's a miracle. For those who are infertile, I know you understand. When you are infertile and you watch everyone be able to plan their pregnancies to happen right when they want them, it is hard. For me it was even harder to watch as so many people I knew experienced unplanned and (heaven forbid) even unwanted pregnancies. I used to try to imagine what it was like to just have a body that functioned normally and became pregnant when it was supposed to. But I never thought it would actually happen. But now it has. It is wonderful but so surreal. I keep expecting something bad to happen because I have become accustomed to having to fight so hard every time we try to have a child. But most of all the emotion we are experiencing is gratitude. We are so grateful to Heavenly Father that He has a plan for our family. And even though we are scared right now, we know that He is in charge. So no matter what happens, we are thankful for this pregnancy, this gift. And we are looking forward to the future. With optimism.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off to School I Go!
Well, summer is quickly nearing its end. In fact, school starts tomorrow. This semester I am taking three upper division Social Work classes and for my choice of an elective I am taking a Family Finance course. I am really looking forward to all of my classes but not looking forward to my weekends being consumed by homework again. But I know it will be worth it in the end.
The good news is, we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel! Malone will be able to graduate in just a year and a half. I know, 18 months is still kind of a long time, but when you compare it to how long we have been in school since we've been married (5 & 1/2 years) it seems like it's only a drop in the bucket. And that's not including the 2 years Malone completed BEFORE we got married!
I, unfortunately, still have 2 years left so I have one more semester past what Malone does. I don't know what we'll do if Malone graduates and finds a job before I finish. In that case he may have to head out to wherever his job is as soon as he gets the job while I finish up school. That situation wouldn't exactly be the most pleasant but it may be necessary. Anyway, we are beginnig to put feelers out for possible job opportunities looking for a PhD Biochemist. If anyone has any tips, please send them our way!
The good news is, we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel! Malone will be able to graduate in just a year and a half. I know, 18 months is still kind of a long time, but when you compare it to how long we have been in school since we've been married (5 & 1/2 years) it seems like it's only a drop in the bucket. And that's not including the 2 years Malone completed BEFORE we got married!
I, unfortunately, still have 2 years left so I have one more semester past what Malone does. I don't know what we'll do if Malone graduates and finds a job before I finish. In that case he may have to head out to wherever his job is as soon as he gets the job while I finish up school. That situation wouldn't exactly be the most pleasant but it may be necessary. Anyway, we are beginnig to put feelers out for possible job opportunities looking for a PhD Biochemist. If anyone has any tips, please send them our way!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Mary Mary Quite Contrary, How Does Your Garden Grow?
Well, my name isn't Mary, but our garden is definitely growing! Our friends Carol and Todd are letting us use a large part of their garden space this summer. We are so thankful! We have really been enjoying caring for it although we don't get to it as often as we would like with our busy schedule. In spite of the random bouts of neglect, however, it's really been doing well. So far we have harvested zucchini, cucumbers, and cherry tomatoes. In addition to that, we also have cantaloupe, watermelon, regular tomatoes, and corn that are thriving. Some of the corn is almost eight feet tall and pretty much all the stocks have two and some even have three ears of corn. Anyway, here is a photo of Malone amidst all the plants for your enjoyment. Malone is 6 ' 2, so it gives you an idea of the size of all the plants.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Maybe Boring, Maybe Not
Well, this might be a somewhat boring post. I'm just warning you now. It's not filled with the usual adventure and excitement of my regular posts (haha). So, if you were looking for a cliff hanger, feel free to skip on to the next blog. I feel some rambling coming on.
Recently, our life has been fairly quiet compared to its usual insanity. We are still busy, but a little less so. I have fewer hours at work and Malone has been able to spend a little more time at home. It's been so nice. We were even able to go to a theme park and leave Baby K with my sister-in-law. She had a blast and Malone and I were so appreciative of some significant alone time. We did realize after riding a few of the roller coasters, however, that we are both a little less adventurous than we used to be. There was one or two roller coasters that got my heart pounding a little too hard for my taste. And I'm not talking about heart pounding in the sense of "I can't wait to get on that ride again and ride it fifty more times". No no, I'm talking about the "I think I'm going to throw up if I don't die first" type of heart pounding. I guess I'm getting old. But in my defense, there was one ride that I swear every single cart had at least one piece that was held on by nothing more than red duct tape. And that's no exaggeration.
In other news, Malone received word back from a paper he has submitted to a scientific journal for publication. The editor asked for revisions and then resubmission, so that's a pretty good sign. Granted, it's not as good as if it had been accepted right away, but we'll take this over a rejection any day.
As for me, I am starting to gear up for the new school year. I can't believe it's only a month away! I'm glad it's coming quickly. I am beyond antsy to be done with school. Too bad we still have four more semesters to go. Blah. I just have to keep telling myself that it will all be worth it in the end. Malone will have a PhD, I will have a Bachelor's degree and hopefully all this education will lead to job security. Our fingers are crossed anyway.
As for other thoughts on my mind... Well, I guess I'll just say that infertility sucks. I know, I know. That was a huge leap from the previous topic, but like I said. I'm rambling. Anyway, yeah. Now that Baby K is getting close to being a year and a half old Malone and I have been talking about trying to grow our family again. We would like Baby K to have a sibling no more than three or three and a half years younger than her. But all of this of course brings back all the old infertility mumbo jumbo. (And trust me, that's probably the most tame way I can coin that sentiment)
A lot of people have assumed that just because I was able to conceive and carry Baby K, that means I'm not infertile anymore, like having a baby means I am miraculously cured. They seem to not understand that there's a difference between being "infertile" and being "sterile." When I hear that it makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. If only those people knew just how wrong they were. My PCOS is somewhat under control now with the meds that I have been on since Baby K finished nursing. My losing 25 pounds has helped, but it hasn't cured anything and I have had to fight tooth and nail for every ounce of that weight loss. And now it's hard not to give in to despair. Do we try again for a biological child? That thought fills me with dread. Do we try again to adopt? Again, dread. It's hard not to despair sometimes. Thinking back on our journey to parenthood reawakens so many emotions that I had nearly forgotten. I know five years isn't nearly as long as some people experience, but sometimes I imagine myself repeating everything we went through and I am exhausted just thinking about it.
Don't get me wrong. Every single moment and pain was so so worth it and I would do it all over again and again and again if I had to. I know how blessed I am to be a Mom. I get to mother my Baby K now and someday I know I'll get to have our baby G back too. It's just that in my heart I long for the members of my family that I feel are still missing. And the prospect of how we're going to get them here is a bit frightening and very daunting. But I know it will be ok. Like I said, it has all been so worth it and I know I'll feel the same way about whatever we have to experience in the future with our attempts to have children. It's just the process of starting all over again is kind of like someone sucker punching you in the gut. Not pleasant.
Well, I hope all of that wasn't too depressing or offensive. I sometimes hesitate to talk about things like that knowing that some of my friends are still struggling to patiently await the blessing of receiving their first child. It makes me wonder if wanting more children makes me greedy. After all, I have my husband and two children that are mine forever. I am blessed beyond measure already and I am so grateful for the blessing of my family. But then I remember something that stuck with Malone and I the entire time we were hoping to adopt. We aren't just praying for ANY child to come to our family. We are waiting for OUR children. And I don't think that wanting the children that God has planned to be a part of our family is greedy. I think that's just part of my longing to fulfill God's plan for me. So there you go. Take it or leave it, that's the "gospel according to Brittany".
Recently, our life has been fairly quiet compared to its usual insanity. We are still busy, but a little less so. I have fewer hours at work and Malone has been able to spend a little more time at home. It's been so nice. We were even able to go to a theme park and leave Baby K with my sister-in-law. She had a blast and Malone and I were so appreciative of some significant alone time. We did realize after riding a few of the roller coasters, however, that we are both a little less adventurous than we used to be. There was one or two roller coasters that got my heart pounding a little too hard for my taste. And I'm not talking about heart pounding in the sense of "I can't wait to get on that ride again and ride it fifty more times". No no, I'm talking about the "I think I'm going to throw up if I don't die first" type of heart pounding. I guess I'm getting old. But in my defense, there was one ride that I swear every single cart had at least one piece that was held on by nothing more than red duct tape. And that's no exaggeration.
In other news, Malone received word back from a paper he has submitted to a scientific journal for publication. The editor asked for revisions and then resubmission, so that's a pretty good sign. Granted, it's not as good as if it had been accepted right away, but we'll take this over a rejection any day.
As for me, I am starting to gear up for the new school year. I can't believe it's only a month away! I'm glad it's coming quickly. I am beyond antsy to be done with school. Too bad we still have four more semesters to go. Blah. I just have to keep telling myself that it will all be worth it in the end. Malone will have a PhD, I will have a Bachelor's degree and hopefully all this education will lead to job security. Our fingers are crossed anyway.
As for other thoughts on my mind... Well, I guess I'll just say that infertility sucks. I know, I know. That was a huge leap from the previous topic, but like I said. I'm rambling. Anyway, yeah. Now that Baby K is getting close to being a year and a half old Malone and I have been talking about trying to grow our family again. We would like Baby K to have a sibling no more than three or three and a half years younger than her. But all of this of course brings back all the old infertility mumbo jumbo. (And trust me, that's probably the most tame way I can coin that sentiment)
A lot of people have assumed that just because I was able to conceive and carry Baby K, that means I'm not infertile anymore, like having a baby means I am miraculously cured. They seem to not understand that there's a difference between being "infertile" and being "sterile." When I hear that it makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. If only those people knew just how wrong they were. My PCOS is somewhat under control now with the meds that I have been on since Baby K finished nursing. My losing 25 pounds has helped, but it hasn't cured anything and I have had to fight tooth and nail for every ounce of that weight loss. And now it's hard not to give in to despair. Do we try again for a biological child? That thought fills me with dread. Do we try again to adopt? Again, dread. It's hard not to despair sometimes. Thinking back on our journey to parenthood reawakens so many emotions that I had nearly forgotten. I know five years isn't nearly as long as some people experience, but sometimes I imagine myself repeating everything we went through and I am exhausted just thinking about it.
Don't get me wrong. Every single moment and pain was so so worth it and I would do it all over again and again and again if I had to. I know how blessed I am to be a Mom. I get to mother my Baby K now and someday I know I'll get to have our baby G back too. It's just that in my heart I long for the members of my family that I feel are still missing. And the prospect of how we're going to get them here is a bit frightening and very daunting. But I know it will be ok. Like I said, it has all been so worth it and I know I'll feel the same way about whatever we have to experience in the future with our attempts to have children. It's just the process of starting all over again is kind of like someone sucker punching you in the gut. Not pleasant.
Well, I hope all of that wasn't too depressing or offensive. I sometimes hesitate to talk about things like that knowing that some of my friends are still struggling to patiently await the blessing of receiving their first child. It makes me wonder if wanting more children makes me greedy. After all, I have my husband and two children that are mine forever. I am blessed beyond measure already and I am so grateful for the blessing of my family. But then I remember something that stuck with Malone and I the entire time we were hoping to adopt. We aren't just praying for ANY child to come to our family. We are waiting for OUR children. And I don't think that wanting the children that God has planned to be a part of our family is greedy. I think that's just part of my longing to fulfill God's plan for me. So there you go. Take it or leave it, that's the "gospel according to Brittany".
Friday, July 15, 2011
It's the Simple Joys
The heat has been steadily rising over the past little while and in our new apartment we do not have Central Air Conditioning. It hasn't been bad until recently, but now it has become almost unbearable. So, we decided it might be a good idea to look around for a window air conditioning unit. But, before we invested too much time and energy into shopping around we decided it would be a good idea to check with our landlords to see if they would be ok with it. Well, to our surprise, our landlords were not only ok with it, they offered to buy it!!! YAY!!!! We have the best landlords! Not only did they offer to buy it, but they offered to buy a high quality one that will keep our entire apartment cool instead of just the cheap one that we had planned on buying that would only cool our living room. So tomorrow we are going shopping and tomorrow night we will be spending our evening in comfort. HOORAY!!!!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
This is the Post where I Amaze Myself.
Seriously, when was the last time I posted so frequently? I guess I can be amazing! Just kidding. But in all seriousness, recently I made it a goal to blog more often because this is the closest thing I get to actually writing in a journal. So here I am! Blogging again! Sometimes I'm afraid that what I have to share will actually be really boring for most people though. So, if you are reading this, and it's boring for you, feel free to tune out. I promise I won't hate you. Not forever anyway. haha
So, not too long ago I had one of THOSE experiences. You know, the experiences that Moms have that they will tell their children over and over about. Especially when the Mom needs some sort of leverage to get their kid to do something or to guilt trip their kid about something they've done wrong. Well, from now on whenever baby K gives me a hard time I can tell her, "Well, I cleaned up your poopy after you smeared it everywhere during nap time so that means you have to...! (feel free to fill in the blank here with whatever you wish. Things like washing dishes, weeding the garden will be appropriate)"
Yep, that's right. In the tiny amount of time between when I heard her wake up over the baby monitor to the time I went in to pick her up from her nap, she had pulled off her pants, pulled off her NASTY dirty diaper that was loaded with poopy, and proceeded to smear her poopy everywhere. And when I say everywhere, I do mean everywhere. The bars of the crib, the mattress, the wall that was within her reach, her legs, stomach, chest, arms, and (worst of all) all over her FACE. So what did I do? Well, I did the only thing a mother should do in the situation. I giggled a bit, and ran to grab the camera before cleaning up the nasty mess. After all, a Mom needs blackmail material for the future right?
I then proceeded to give her not one, but two baths. I got her all rinsed off at first and then had to let the icky drain away. Then I had to clean the bathtub quickly before giving her the second sanitizing bath with plenty of soap. In between the baths while she was standing on the bath room rug waiting (pretty patiently, actually) she decided it would be a good time to squat and pee. Awesome. Now I had to scrub the baby clean, scrub the bath room rug clean, and scrub her bedroom and crib clean. It took a lot of time to clean it to where I was satisfied, but you know what? I still love being her Mom. It's not the most glamorous job in the world, but when these frustrating moments come it's easy to remember back to the time before she came to our family. I so desperately wanted to be a mother. I longed for every single one of these experiences. Having struggled through infertility, it's easier to appreciate my little blessing. Even when she is being a little monster and creating messes (that I have to admit are sometimes completely foul and repulsive.)
By the way, the funniest part? Malone really laughed at me for having to be the one to clean up that mess. But guess what? A few days ago when I was out with the girls, Malone was giving baby K a bath after dinner. She decided to even out the score between Mommy and Daddy and pooped in the bathtub.
So, not too long ago I had one of THOSE experiences. You know, the experiences that Moms have that they will tell their children over and over about. Especially when the Mom needs some sort of leverage to get their kid to do something or to guilt trip their kid about something they've done wrong. Well, from now on whenever baby K gives me a hard time I can tell her, "Well, I cleaned up your poopy after you smeared it everywhere during nap time so that means you have to...! (feel free to fill in the blank here with whatever you wish. Things like washing dishes, weeding the garden will be appropriate)"
Yep, that's right. In the tiny amount of time between when I heard her wake up over the baby monitor to the time I went in to pick her up from her nap, she had pulled off her pants, pulled off her NASTY dirty diaper that was loaded with poopy, and proceeded to smear her poopy everywhere. And when I say everywhere, I do mean everywhere. The bars of the crib, the mattress, the wall that was within her reach, her legs, stomach, chest, arms, and (worst of all) all over her FACE. So what did I do? Well, I did the only thing a mother should do in the situation. I giggled a bit, and ran to grab the camera before cleaning up the nasty mess. After all, a Mom needs blackmail material for the future right?
I then proceeded to give her not one, but two baths. I got her all rinsed off at first and then had to let the icky drain away. Then I had to clean the bathtub quickly before giving her the second sanitizing bath with plenty of soap. In between the baths while she was standing on the bath room rug waiting (pretty patiently, actually) she decided it would be a good time to squat and pee. Awesome. Now I had to scrub the baby clean, scrub the bath room rug clean, and scrub her bedroom and crib clean. It took a lot of time to clean it to where I was satisfied, but you know what? I still love being her Mom. It's not the most glamorous job in the world, but when these frustrating moments come it's easy to remember back to the time before she came to our family. I so desperately wanted to be a mother. I longed for every single one of these experiences. Having struggled through infertility, it's easier to appreciate my little blessing. Even when she is being a little monster and creating messes (that I have to admit are sometimes completely foul and repulsive.)
By the way, the funniest part? Malone really laughed at me for having to be the one to clean up that mess. But guess what? A few days ago when I was out with the girls, Malone was giving baby K a bath after dinner. She decided to even out the score between Mommy and Daddy and pooped in the bathtub.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
So much news, so little time
Well, it has been quite a long while since the last time I blogged. Things have been so busy, it's ridiculous! But I don't think my life would feel normal without the busy-ness.
For starters, Malone found out a paper of his was declined to a journal that he submitted it to. Boo. They said it wasn't the right fit for the journal, but that it was good so he should submit it to a different journal. So, now it is submitted to the new journal and we are waiting to hear back about this second go-around. Wish us luck! He really needs this publication so that he can graduate on time. On a more positive note, he has had some real success recently at work. He has discovered something that could be kind of a big deal, so he's (momentarily at least) on cloud nine.
In other news, I got accepted to the Social Work program I applied to at the school I am attending! Yay! It has been such a relief to know what my plan is for school for the next couple of years. They had to reject about 30 applicants, so I feel very blessed to have been accepted.
K baby has been growing like a weed! She is getting taller and she is developing right on track. She only has a handful of teeth left to come in, and I recently trimmed her hair for the first time. Granted, it was just her bangs because they were getting in her eyes, but I thought it was a milestone! I was super nervous, but I didn't cry and it came out looking really cute so it's all good.
This summer our family is also growing a garden. We have some great friends who have graciously allowed us to use a portion of their garden space. We are growing lots of corn, tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, cantaloup, watermelon, cucumbers, and zucchini (which already has some baby zucchinis coming on!). So far everything seems to be coming up very well and we are super excited to have some home grown produce. Apartment living has its downsides, one of them being not having a yard with our own garden space. But thankfully, that's not a problem for us this year!
Speaking of apartments, we actually moved from our cute little house. Our friends helped us arrange to move into the apartment they were moving out of for their new job. The apartment has a third bedroom and a little bit cheaper rent. The utilities are also a little less expensive and (YAY) it has a dishwasher!!! We were so sad to leave our house behind though. We formed so many good memories there and we loved not having neighbors in our faces all the time. We will miss it. But although change is hard sometimes, it is also good, and we are absolutely loving our new place!
Ok, to end this long narrative, this past week we had quite an adventure. On Friday we were scheduled to go camping for a family reunion. We decided it would be fun to take an extra day and go up for a little camping trip on Thursday, just the three of us. That way we would already have things all set up for Friday and we would get some quality family time in. Well, we were having a really great time until at 3:00 a.m. we had an unexpected visitor to our camp site. We were sound asleep when a Sherriff's deputy came and knocked on our tent. To make a long story short, we had to be emergency evacuated from the campsite because the creek we were camping next to had flooded and washed out the road bridge. We had to leave almost everything behind (including our car), were shuttled across the water, and a deputy gave us a ride home. They wouldn't let us go get all our stuff back until Monday. It was sort of scary and a lot annoying being without our car. Most of all, however, we were thankful that we were all safe. K baby even slept through (almost) the entire ordeal. Now we are back to normal life and can smile at the whole thing.
One thing's for sure though, that experience taught me a valuable lesson. I really should put 72 hour kits in our car trunk for emergencies. I can't imagine what we would have done if we had been stranded in our campsite. All we would have had to exist off of would have been Doritos, Orange slices (the candy kind. Not the healthy kind. We were camping for goodness sake!), marshmallows, and a few bottles of water. It wouldn't have lasted long and we could have been in real trouble. I am going to be putting those 72 hour kits in both our car and in our apartment right away.
Well, that's it for now! I'll update with pictures soon.
For starters, Malone found out a paper of his was declined to a journal that he submitted it to. Boo. They said it wasn't the right fit for the journal, but that it was good so he should submit it to a different journal. So, now it is submitted to the new journal and we are waiting to hear back about this second go-around. Wish us luck! He really needs this publication so that he can graduate on time. On a more positive note, he has had some real success recently at work. He has discovered something that could be kind of a big deal, so he's (momentarily at least) on cloud nine.
In other news, I got accepted to the Social Work program I applied to at the school I am attending! Yay! It has been such a relief to know what my plan is for school for the next couple of years. They had to reject about 30 applicants, so I feel very blessed to have been accepted.
K baby has been growing like a weed! She is getting taller and she is developing right on track. She only has a handful of teeth left to come in, and I recently trimmed her hair for the first time. Granted, it was just her bangs because they were getting in her eyes, but I thought it was a milestone! I was super nervous, but I didn't cry and it came out looking really cute so it's all good.
This summer our family is also growing a garden. We have some great friends who have graciously allowed us to use a portion of their garden space. We are growing lots of corn, tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, cantaloup, watermelon, cucumbers, and zucchini (which already has some baby zucchinis coming on!). So far everything seems to be coming up very well and we are super excited to have some home grown produce. Apartment living has its downsides, one of them being not having a yard with our own garden space. But thankfully, that's not a problem for us this year!
Speaking of apartments, we actually moved from our cute little house. Our friends helped us arrange to move into the apartment they were moving out of for their new job. The apartment has a third bedroom and a little bit cheaper rent. The utilities are also a little less expensive and (YAY) it has a dishwasher!!! We were so sad to leave our house behind though. We formed so many good memories there and we loved not having neighbors in our faces all the time. We will miss it. But although change is hard sometimes, it is also good, and we are absolutely loving our new place!
Ok, to end this long narrative, this past week we had quite an adventure. On Friday we were scheduled to go camping for a family reunion. We decided it would be fun to take an extra day and go up for a little camping trip on Thursday, just the three of us. That way we would already have things all set up for Friday and we would get some quality family time in. Well, we were having a really great time until at 3:00 a.m. we had an unexpected visitor to our camp site. We were sound asleep when a Sherriff's deputy came and knocked on our tent. To make a long story short, we had to be emergency evacuated from the campsite because the creek we were camping next to had flooded and washed out the road bridge. We had to leave almost everything behind (including our car), were shuttled across the water, and a deputy gave us a ride home. They wouldn't let us go get all our stuff back until Monday. It was sort of scary and a lot annoying being without our car. Most of all, however, we were thankful that we were all safe. K baby even slept through (almost) the entire ordeal. Now we are back to normal life and can smile at the whole thing.
One thing's for sure though, that experience taught me a valuable lesson. I really should put 72 hour kits in our car trunk for emergencies. I can't imagine what we would have done if we had been stranded in our campsite. All we would have had to exist off of would have been Doritos, Orange slices (the candy kind. Not the healthy kind. We were camping for goodness sake!), marshmallows, and a few bottles of water. It wouldn't have lasted long and we could have been in real trouble. I am going to be putting those 72 hour kits in both our car and in our apartment right away.
Well, that's it for now! I'll update with pictures soon.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Which Option Will You Choose?
If you are reading this post, you probably know at least one of the women in our family that our team is celebrating this year by running the Race For The Cure. If you do know my Aunt Billie or my mom, Nancy, I think you will agree that you have truly been blessed because of your association with them. They are each wonderful and we are so thankful that they are survivors of breast cancer.
If, however, you have not been so lucky as to know these women, let me introduce them!
This is my Aunt Billie. She was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago.
This is my Mom. Her name is Nancy. This May marks a decade of survival from breast cancer for her. (By the way, the handsome guy snuggling up to her is my Dad. Aren't they just so cute?)
We are so blessed to have each of these wonderful women in our family and that they are in remission from breast cancer. Unfortunately, the fact is that there are thousands of other women who suffer from this terrible disease every year. Knowing the devastation our family faced when my Mom was diagnosed and treated with breast cancer, we want to do whatever we can to ease the suffering for others who are facing this experience, and I hope that you will want to help as well!
With that goal in mind, we have decided to form a team and run the Susan G. Komen Race For the Cure in Salt Lake City on May 7, 2011. Our team name is "Fighting Back For The Rack." To learn more about the race, click HERE.
Now, let me answer the question I know you all are thinking: "How can I help?" We have a wide variety of ways you can support our team! Let me tell you about the options.
OPTION 1:
The first option is donating directly to our team. To do this, click HERE. This link will take you directly to our team page. From that page, click the button on the right that says, "Donate to this Team!" and follow the instructions.
OPTION 2:
If you don't have the spare cash to donate to our cause, don't worry we completely understand! For those who fit that situation that live nearby, we have another option! If you would rather, you can donate gently used items that you no longer need that we can sell at our fundraiser yard sale on April 30th. So use this as an opportunity to get that spring cleaning done, get those closets cleared out and let us use those items to raise money for a great cause! 100% of the proceeds from our yard sale will go to the Susan G. Komen Race For the Cure. Contact me at maloneandbrittanyadopt@gmail.com for more information. And be sure to spread the word to your friends and family so we can benefit from their donations as well! Or, if you do not live nearby, you could always host a fundraiser yard sale on behalf of our team in your area!
OPTION 3:
As a third option, if you cannot donate to our yard sale, we would love to see you come shopping at our yard sale! It will be held April 30th at 8:00 a.m. and we will have TONS of items including furniture, men's, women's, children's, and baby's clothing, homemade treats, etc... so you are sure to score a good deal! Keep watch for more information about our yard sale which I will post soon.
OPTION 4:
If you are like me, then you LOVE to go shopping. If this is something you also enjoy, then our fourth option is for you. My sister is hosting a boutique where a portion of proceeds will be donated to our Race For The Cure team. It will be held April 16th at Hanbury Manor clubhouse (251... W. 1600 N., Logan) from 10 am – 7 pm. She’s got some great stuff, so go check it out! She is also going to donate 30% of all online purchases over $10 to the team. Check her out online at http://thehandmadeheritage.blogspot.com/
OPTION 5:
If the first four options just aren't involved enough for you and you live somewhere within driving distance of Salt Lake, then our fifth option is sure to suit you! We would love it if you would join our team! To join our team, click HERE and then click the button on the right that says, "Join Fighting Back For The Rack." It's a non-competitive 5K (approximately 3 miles) so you can go at your own pace. Lots of people walk and push strollers so if I can do it, I know you can too! Of course, for those who would rather, there is also a "Sleep In For the Cure." Lol
OPTION 6:
For our sixth option if you are in personal contact with a business that would like to support our team, please let me know at the aforementioned email addressed. We would love to get involvement from small or large businesses for our team and will be willing to post their business information if they do sponsor us. If this option suits you, contact me as soon as possible so that we can be sure to advertise for them.
OPTION 7:
Of course, one of the most important things you can help us do is SPREAD THE WORD! Share this web page with all your friends and family.
OPTION 8:
Finally, if you can think of a way to support our team that I haven't mentioned yet, then feel free to get creative! Any assistance, big or small, will be greatly appreciated. Ultimately, the goal is to help those in need and every little bit counts.
Whew! I know that was a lot to throw at you, but the best thing is that if you are reading this message, then I am sure you can find one of those options that will work for you. No matter which of these options you choose, we appreciate your support! It means so much to us that in your own way you are helping us celebrate our survivors.
If, however, you have not been so lucky as to know these women, let me introduce them!
This is my Aunt Billie. She was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago.
This is my Mom. Her name is Nancy. This May marks a decade of survival from breast cancer for her. (By the way, the handsome guy snuggling up to her is my Dad. Aren't they just so cute?)
We are so blessed to have each of these wonderful women in our family and that they are in remission from breast cancer. Unfortunately, the fact is that there are thousands of other women who suffer from this terrible disease every year. Knowing the devastation our family faced when my Mom was diagnosed and treated with breast cancer, we want to do whatever we can to ease the suffering for others who are facing this experience, and I hope that you will want to help as well!
With that goal in mind, we have decided to form a team and run the Susan G. Komen Race For the Cure in Salt Lake City on May 7, 2011. Our team name is "Fighting Back For The Rack." To learn more about the race, click HERE.
Now, let me answer the question I know you all are thinking: "How can I help?" We have a wide variety of ways you can support our team! Let me tell you about the options.
OPTION 1:
The first option is donating directly to our team. To do this, click HERE. This link will take you directly to our team page. From that page, click the button on the right that says, "Donate to this Team!" and follow the instructions.
OPTION 2:
If you don't have the spare cash to donate to our cause, don't worry we completely understand! For those who fit that situation that live nearby, we have another option! If you would rather, you can donate gently used items that you no longer need that we can sell at our fundraiser yard sale on April 30th. So use this as an opportunity to get that spring cleaning done, get those closets cleared out and let us use those items to raise money for a great cause! 100% of the proceeds from our yard sale will go to the Susan G. Komen Race For the Cure. Contact me at maloneandbrittanyadopt@gmail.com for more information. And be sure to spread the word to your friends and family so we can benefit from their donations as well! Or, if you do not live nearby, you could always host a fundraiser yard sale on behalf of our team in your area!
OPTION 3:
As a third option, if you cannot donate to our yard sale, we would love to see you come shopping at our yard sale! It will be held April 30th at 8:00 a.m. and we will have TONS of items including furniture, men's, women's, children's, and baby's clothing, homemade treats, etc... so you are sure to score a good deal! Keep watch for more information about our yard sale which I will post soon.
OPTION 4:
If you are like me, then you LOVE to go shopping. If this is something you also enjoy, then our fourth option is for you. My sister is hosting a boutique where a portion of proceeds will be donated to our Race For The Cure team. It will be held April 16th at Hanbury Manor clubhouse (251... W. 1600 N., Logan) from 10 am – 7 pm. She’s got some great stuff, so go check it out! She is also going to donate 30% of all online purchases over $10 to the team. Check her out online at http://thehandmadeheritage.blogspot.com/
OPTION 5:
If the first four options just aren't involved enough for you and you live somewhere within driving distance of Salt Lake, then our fifth option is sure to suit you! We would love it if you would join our team! To join our team, click HERE and then click the button on the right that says, "Join Fighting Back For The Rack." It's a non-competitive 5K (approximately 3 miles) so you can go at your own pace. Lots of people walk and push strollers so if I can do it, I know you can too! Of course, for those who would rather, there is also a "Sleep In For the Cure." Lol
OPTION 6:
For our sixth option if you are in personal contact with a business that would like to support our team, please let me know at the aforementioned email addressed. We would love to get involvement from small or large businesses for our team and will be willing to post their business information if they do sponsor us. If this option suits you, contact me as soon as possible so that we can be sure to advertise for them.
OPTION 7:
Of course, one of the most important things you can help us do is SPREAD THE WORD! Share this web page with all your friends and family.
OPTION 8:
Finally, if you can think of a way to support our team that I haven't mentioned yet, then feel free to get creative! Any assistance, big or small, will be greatly appreciated. Ultimately, the goal is to help those in need and every little bit counts.
Whew! I know that was a lot to throw at you, but the best thing is that if you are reading this message, then I am sure you can find one of those options that will work for you. No matter which of these options you choose, we appreciate your support! It means so much to us that in your own way you are helping us celebrate our survivors.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
I can't believe it's already here
Well, my baby is turning one! I can't believe it!!! I know this is cliche, but it really does seem like yesterday that I was in the hospital anxiously getting ready to meet our baby K.
Recently baby K has been getting more teeth. She has ten now, including two molars! She has also been learning to walk independently. She can take up to six steps on her own. She has learned to go up and down short flights of stairs, albeit precariously. But she has absolutely NO fear which is awfully worrisome. She goes down steps head first, approaches animals (like my siblings' cats) without hesitation, desperately tries to stick her fingers under the vacuum while it's running, and recently leaped off the edge of the couch when my back was turned for a moment. She has also discovered that she LOVES to "talk". Sometimes all I can do is laugh when she's sitting by herself playing with her toys and talking to them. She sometimes says, "tickle tickle tickle" and will pretend to tickle things. She "tickles" me, the carpet, her hair brush, her teddy bear, EVERYTHING. She has also learned to wave hello and goodbye really well and will sometimes tell people "hi." She is also developing a little bit of stranger anxiety and will get kind of shy around people who approach her directly that she's not really familiar with. I love to see her grow and can see little changes and progress every day.
Malone and I are still just plugging along. Malone passed his oral examinations and is now officially considered a PhD candidate. He just has to receive a first author publication and complete his research hours in the next couple of years before he writes his dissertation and has his defense. I say "just" but really it is quite a workload he has left ahead of him. But I am so proud of him for his accomplishments! This is a huge milestone that he just passed and now we're looking forward to completing the next.
I am still hard at work in my classes, work, and relief society duties. But foremost, of course, I love being a mom. I am anxious for the semester to conclude so that I can enjoy my summer vacation. Malone is looking forward to me having more free time as well. He has been so good at being supportive of my education goals. I am also anxious to get beyond my exam to qualify for my Social Work program. Wish me luck!
I will post later with pictures from our K baby's first birthday.
Recently baby K has been getting more teeth. She has ten now, including two molars! She has also been learning to walk independently. She can take up to six steps on her own. She has learned to go up and down short flights of stairs, albeit precariously. But she has absolutely NO fear which is awfully worrisome. She goes down steps head first, approaches animals (like my siblings' cats) without hesitation, desperately tries to stick her fingers under the vacuum while it's running, and recently leaped off the edge of the couch when my back was turned for a moment. She has also discovered that she LOVES to "talk". Sometimes all I can do is laugh when she's sitting by herself playing with her toys and talking to them. She sometimes says, "tickle tickle tickle" and will pretend to tickle things. She "tickles" me, the carpet, her hair brush, her teddy bear, EVERYTHING. She has also learned to wave hello and goodbye really well and will sometimes tell people "hi." She is also developing a little bit of stranger anxiety and will get kind of shy around people who approach her directly that she's not really familiar with. I love to see her grow and can see little changes and progress every day.
Malone and I are still just plugging along. Malone passed his oral examinations and is now officially considered a PhD candidate. He just has to receive a first author publication and complete his research hours in the next couple of years before he writes his dissertation and has his defense. I say "just" but really it is quite a workload he has left ahead of him. But I am so proud of him for his accomplishments! This is a huge milestone that he just passed and now we're looking forward to completing the next.
I am still hard at work in my classes, work, and relief society duties. But foremost, of course, I love being a mom. I am anxious for the semester to conclude so that I can enjoy my summer vacation. Malone is looking forward to me having more free time as well. He has been so good at being supportive of my education goals. I am also anxious to get beyond my exam to qualify for my Social Work program. Wish me luck!
I will post later with pictures from our K baby's first birthday.
Monday, February 7, 2011
When did that happen?
Our Baby K is starting to try to walk! She pulls herself up on all the furniture and will let go with both hands to balance herself for a few seconds. She also has a baby walker that she has become quite proficient at using. It seems I'm about to have a toddler on my hands! The funniest thing is that I'm not really even sure how she learned to do all this. Only about three weeks ago we were worried because she wasn't showing much interest in crawling. But now she is crawling on her hands and knees like a pro and using the furniture to move around the room.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Nothin' Much
Well, it has been an awfully long time since I posted. Things have been so busy! School started up again for us and I have been swamped with homework. This semester I am taking two social work classes, an English class, and a psychology course. It seems my professors this semester are big fans of busy work. But the material is fascinating. Good thing I love it because I'm applying for the social work program this semester! In fact, I have been finding my coursework so interesting that for my birthday I am asking my hubby for The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders by the American Psychiatric Association. I guess that officially qualifies me as a nerd. Other than school I have been staying busy with work and of course being Baby K's mommy.
As for the hubby, he is working on getting his first first author publication. Hopefully (fingers crossed) this will happen within the next month or so! Other than that, he just keeps plugging along in his program at school. He has the very last part of a big test coming up in a few weeks, so he is hard at work studying for that.
Baby K is growing in like a weed. It seems like her vocabulary is growing almost every day! She has mastered the words: mama, dada, and baba. She will also occasionally say: no, and uh-oh. She gives kisses, although they are still much more like head-butts. She loves to snuggle and she will clap when she's happy about something. Her rescent fascination has been playing peek-a-boo and she likes to throw things on the floor to watch me pick them up. She is proficient in the army crawl, and tries to crawl on her knees if she isn't in a hurry. She has also learned to pull herself into a standing position and will sometimes move her feet forward like she's trying to walk. As of this past week, she has six teeth. We are so proud of her!
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About Me
- Malone and Brittany
- About us? Where can I begin? Our little family has been through more ups and downs than can be described here. It has been a roller coaster since day one. Join us as we continue on our crazy ride.
